Brick by brick
by EMAD
Summary: After Kate's appartment is break in, which forces her to stay at his place, yet suspended. Rick picks and reorganize her old diary which served her as a therapy. Rated M for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**. For the readers, it might be confusing following the stories as they are linked ones with others, but as a writer I find it pretty interesting. I'm just having fun writing different plots to stop now. I have many upcoming ideas, you can still read them separatedly I think.

Timeline, this one goes after IFLS chapter 3, Haunted Home, so the words in italics are words of said song. (It feels like something story is linked to songs).

After Karpowski and Ryan interview Kate and Rick briefly, they decide she'll spend the next days at his place while CSU canvas her apparment. Ryan warn her Gates might want to interview her personally, depending how the case evolves. In their mind came the same suspect: Maddox. Aside goes the spat after he told Sir, which caused her to get suspended. Thankfully might be that's the reason why she is still alive, as she went to Castle.

Rick drive them to his place, in silence. He can't find the _words to say_. None of them seem to _care _how long she _can't stay_ in her place yet.

They enter his house yet in silence. He doesn't know how to approach to her. He wants to help her but doesn't know how. He fears if he approaches too directly he will _scare _her. But if he can't let himself to comfort her he'll be _disappointed_ in himself.

"He stole the information of my window. I can't believe it. All gone." she suddenly says.

He approaches her and brushes his palm with hers timdly, she looks down and he link fingers approaching her to his screen tv and turns it on.

"I'm not in a mood for a movie Rick" she says dryly.

"Do you _want_ to _see_?" he opens the bin on his desktop _rescuing_ the folder of her case.

"You deleted it?" he looks at her, then down "I did. After we fought. I told you, mess can tidy up" he gives her a smile and squeeze her hand tenderly.

"Why all I seem to do is constantly _rebuild_ my _home_? It got _burnt_, I had to turn the _ashes_ of my memories. The few I kept were the papers that today were scattered"

"The important is to _hang on_. Kate I will always _help_ you, anything you need I'll _do_." she gives him a shy smile but yet looks concerned.

"I'm tired. Tired of having to _paint _everything again. To _hang on rooftops_. Feeling _small_ being _battered_ by the _wind_. _Tearing_ my _soul,_ unable to _heal_. I want it over and move on, It feels like I've lost some _key_ to my life. Everything is yet _full grey_" he hug her laying her head on his chest gently.

"I understand you feel _down_ and _blue_ Kate, but I'm here. No matter the _blow_ will _shatter_ our _house_, we will _build _it. You _let_ me _in_ to love you. I managed a _door_ through your _heart_. The rest _should_n't _matter_. Not where we _came from_, just that we _belong_ together. No more_ shivering hidden_."

"How can you say that so_ clear_? How can you_ tell _after you've_ seen _me _fall_?" she wonders.

"Because you _do_ stand up again. You don't _just leave_. You always take the_ next_ step. You've done _before_. Because you are _great_." he looks into her eyes brushing her curls.

"I will always wonder how you can _see_ things like that. Is it for something you _drink_?" she relaxes.

"_Nothing_ but your _love. _I don't fear your _scars _or_ bruises. _You know I don't_. _I just wish I had_ been _able to avoid them. Able to fix whatever_ haunted _you_._" she kisses him tenderly and heads to his bed. He goes after her and embraces her from behind. He sits on the bed, her sitting on his lap.

"So thinking about dinner? The weekend with your father?" he tries to bring another topic.

"Are you still up for that?" she says quizzically.

"Why shouldn't I? I don't think he'll interview me, right?"

"I wouldn't be that sure Rick" she teases.

"So you learnt from him?"

"Could be." she opens her bag. He hurries to pick the papers and leave them on his desk drawer, locking it. She gives him a look.

"Just to be sure they don't get lost. You want them, right? We'll order them one day"

"You mind to not rush to it. I want to keep my mind off it all if I can."

"No hurry. I can do it for you. If you are OK with that" he offers, she nods.

After she places her clothes on the half of his huge closet, they head to prepare dinner and later play a round of videogames to his insistance to keep her mind busy with something else, then they head to bed. The next morning she wakes early, and prepares their breakfast as a way to thank him back. Gates calls her to interview her alone in the precint. Rick wakes to the smell of coffee.

"Good morning sweetheart. I was feeling cold in bed. How long you've been awake?" he kiss her nape and take the cup.

"Early." she kiss him tenderly "Gates called. She want to talk. She didn't say you can come"

"Can I still do?"

"No need to, really. I'm fine. You've helped me a lot yesterday. I'll phone you and you can pick me up, we can go see my dad. I know is not weekend."

"But you need to see him now. I understand Kate. No problem. Anything you need" he cuddles her. "So, what do I do meanwhile?" she gives him a look.

"Whatever you want. Is your home." she resolves.

"Oh no, no, no. Is our. I told you didn't I?" she looks puzzled "I understand your clothes, amenities, papers are neigbours to mine now. Am I right?" he holds her waist gently as he approaches letting her feel the heat of his chest in her back. "Anything else you need?" he lets her feel his warm breath on her nape as he speaks "I'll make it happen" he whispers her making her shiver.

"OK. Great to know. But lower down now. May be a good distraction, but reality is that they need me in half, and although I love your offer, we'll have to hold it a bit. Now if you don't mind I need to get ready to head to the precint" she separates and heads to his bathroom. When she is running a bath he enters the room, shutting the door silently and joins her under the water. He kisses her shoulder blades up her neck lightly. She sigh startled.

"Richard. What are you doing here?"

"I also need a shower. C'mon, I won't see you in hours. You'll miss me too." he holds her waist approaching their bodies.

"I'll be late. It'll be few hours only. Soon we'll be at my dad."

"More reason to. What if your dad forbid me to touch you?"

"Like if that will stop you" he kiss along her neck, feeling her breasts. "You tricky"

"You know I love you well, don't you?" his hands caress her tights making her shut her eyes.

"You'll pay me for that" she breaths "I'll gladly do" he turns her and sucks her nipples while the water fall on their head and chest respectivelly. Is not that he is really turned on by her, that he is. But he wants her know he will love her no matter what. That she can trust him, he will hold her up if she hits the ground again, that he will avoid she hits again. Last night, someone breaking into her place has sure brough back issues she was trying to fix, since so long ago. He wants to keep her be safe and happy and he will do all he can to let her. Does really the solution is sex? May be not, but they aren't having sex in his shower in the morning, they are loving each other. Entirely diferent, isn't it? He is trying to express with his ministrations what he can't with his words. They breath heavily as he increases his ministrations pleasing her, rubbing her clit with his thumb while he thurst his index gently into her all the while sucking at her nipple, locking eyes. He loves her face in those moments. She looks so angelically relaxed when he brings her to the edge. Since long ago his priority is her, her well being in all the aspects he can cover. Not that she needs much, she is a strong independent woman. Yet he loves to render her boneless under his touch. But the more he cares is to let her know he cares for her emotions. That's why he learnt the tricks to make her smile, to let her her space when she needs to even when he'd love she let him in, and why not also to make her squirm with his kisses only. This time he has kept beside her, he knew she needed her space, but he feared she'd hide in herself. He is there for her no matter what. He made his way to be there this time and is proud of it, more than for the moans he is elicitinng from her tender lips. He take her mouth in his to mutter her cursing cries, and he places at her entrance.

"As you wish" he whispers in a lustfully husky voice as he slid into her in a quick stroke. She gasps for air from the sudden contact. He caress her back allowing her to adjust and then thrust into her.

Kate arrives at the precint and goes directly to Sir office. Ryan looks from the window.

"What can I do with you? Really Kate. I worry for you. I suspended you around two weeks ago because you took Maddox case personal and let it drive you. You were behaving off the precint and here we are again. Are you somewhere safe? I'll put you a uniform in the building."

"Sir I'm safe. I've stayed away because I resigned."

"You have right to be protected and to be informed about what has happened in your building. So far we know they've stolen the papers you had of your mom case. Clearly someone is looking for you, bringing some vendetta against you."

"I'm not involved in that. I'm not pursuing any vendetta here, as much as you've blamed me to"

"In order to keep you safe I need to know everything you know."

"So now there's room for vendettas?" Kates stands to leave.

"In order to protect you I need to know" Sir insists.

"Sorry Sir. Do what you have to do with the information you have, I left that case behind myself. About the break into my house I've already told all I know to Ryan, ask him. I'm leaving home since I'm currently suspended, my team has split and I'm yet pondering my resignment. I have nothing else to do here at the moment. Sir respect my remaining weeks." she resolves determined.

"What if they don't do? You are someone's target"

"I can handle myself, thanks."

She goes jogging for an hour before she decides to call Rick to pick her up. Meanwhile the man keeps busy trying to organize chronologically the papers they took yesterday from her place. Are some sort of a diary. The oldest pages specially seem to be refered to her mother. She has suffered a lot for that. Who wouldn't? She was yet too young to be alone. She has her father, but a woman is always linked to her mother. Rick can relate on that. He wouldn't like her daugther to suffer.

"If you were here you wouldn't believe it. I met him. A case linked him to my work. Unbelieveable. After all this time, all his words. And he hitted on me. I had to head to the shower. So embarrassing. He wanted to date me. Thankfully I didn't accept. That would had been so messed. I would had made it page 6. I don't want, don't need that. You know that. I'm quiet, when it comes to that, I take my time. He has been a burden. Yet he helped my case. Who i'm lying to? He helped me deal with your loss. His pages kept me enterntained. But although I can like his words, ugh all the press he has, you know, the parties and all that stuff. He is too different. It wouldn't had work. Yes if you were here you'd show me the old pages I wrote when my crush on him was stronger. But I'm an adult and can't let it happen. Let's just be honest and keep focused." he reads the first entrance since they met. The night they resolved their first case. So she had a crush on him long ago? He keeps organizing the papers and reading.

"Gosh. Can my life get more messy? Will is back. He called me on a case. He flirts with me. Why he thinks I'd give him a chance after what he did to me? He left because his work was more important. He can't fix that now. And on top of that Rick is jealous. Well I don't know, but he's been childish about it, being a bit nosy. When isn't he childish? Still that doesn't top when he knew I knew about her book cover art. I can't believe he is doing that. And he tries to gain me with the coffee, he thinks I don't know. I'm a detective, how wouldn't I? Thankfully Will didn't increase much Rick's ego telling him about when I queued for her book sign for more than an hour, he doesn't remember either. I wonder how he can be that lucky bringing theories. He doesn't care for details. Yeah the coffee, but what else?" Rick can't help but smile and laugh at some lines.

"I don't know what hurts more. Yes I got a bullet on my chest. But what he said stings more. I thought that for quite a while. But I can't. This can't happen. We work together, it'll cause trouble and I can't handle that. Dad helps me the best he can. It's been a long since I had to depend on him, we seem a bit strangers. All he does is from the past. He brings me a tea before I go to sleep like when I was younger. I can't blame him. I can't face it yet. I miss my job but I can't face him yet. I can't answer his words. I need time. I need to be better. I can't lead us with my haunting past trapping us. I don't know what to do. Trusth is I miss him, but I can't have him. Not now like I am."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: i own nothing.**

Being the speed reader that he is, Rick acknowledge quite few things from her old entries on that now messy diary. He can't help but think back and notice the truth in some facts. Fact she shows more femenine since they met. Gosh is obvious, she is a lot more femenine than back then. She uses lipstick, make-up, wear a long hair, and her clothes are more focused to enhance her slim figure. He find it funny her first comment about her lipstick. "Perfect, with such a day as I had, my lipstick is finished. I shall rush to get one tomorrow. Wonder what colour would be good" He smiles at those tiny bits coming from the depth of her thoughts. At least she's been opening herself in some way. The fact that she shows so closed to everyone and the reality that other than her work colleagues she seems to have very few friends that she trust to share stuff like that, still worries him a bit. Is not like he tell all his deep thoughts to everybody, most of the time he rather write them down on a paper too, although his get published. But if we thinks of his poker gang, there are quite many more people that he trust than she does. Still he for long denied them he was involved with her other than for work. Liar.

He can't help to smile remembering how much he liked to tease her since the very beginning. Like when he invaded her personal space on purpose charming her with his signed book. And in his naughty thoughts a clear pay back was the that fact that soon after that she cuffed him. Well first she ordered someone to do it, and he nonchalantly said his safe word. Playful womanizer. But the second time she tricked him to stay in the car and indeed cuffed him. Ah if she would had done that somewhere else. Surely that's why it cause him to ask her out once he catch the killer. Her rejection brought him back to writing. He sure was charmed by her since then, that mystery woman drove his world since that day.

Before the phone rang long past the time around she said she will call him, and trying to keep himself calm, he learns some bits about her. Favourite flowers, colour, music as well as some youth anecdotes. He knows she is having issues being back in the city and finding her apartment has been broken into. Who wouldn't feel worried after that? But he wants to make her life easier as she informed him while on his interrogation. He focused himself on that since that moment, when he profiled her right. How can he remember all that four years ago? Must be love, and the fact that finally they are together. His phone buzzes and he picks at first call.

"Midday sweetheart. Everything fine at the precint?" answer him cheerfully.

"Yeah well. She wants to put me an uniform. I refused to say where I'm staying. Can you pick me up? I'm at the" she starts but he cuts her.

"The swing set, right? I'm righ there." he waits for an answer "Hey, everything will be fine."

She hang up surprised that he didn't try to convince her otherwise about the uniform.

Soon they meet and he drives her to his dad's. She looks yet a bit anxious. He let her relax by resting his hand on her knee and she places her on top.

Jim opens the door smiling and surprised to find Rick there too. "Katie sweetheart" he pulls her into a long hug. Rick feels nervous and offers his hand to shake but the man pulls him into another hug. It looks quite comical since the older is quite shorter than Rick. "Come on in" he motion them. Kate sits on her dad's couch and Rick follows nervous. How can he be like that now? She hold his hand briefly to help him rise confidence meanwhile her father pours them a glass of coffee knowing their common habit. He offers them a mug for each.

"So" the old one starts sipping his mug. "What bring you here?"

"I fancied to pay you a visit. Check you are fine." says the brunette twirling her hair due to nervousness. The old one nods still not trusting her.

"I'm great. I've been thinking what to do these holidays. I'm getting old, I want to still keep me busy." he looks at the family pictures displayed on his wall.

"You are not that old, dad. You are fine. That's all I need to know." they pause for a moment "Have they called you this past week? The precint." she tentativelly let out.

"Why should they? You told me you were on holidays. I assumed you had a great time since you called me just once last week" he says staring at Rick. Rick nervously smile at the man who now look at their hands. Rick rush to unhold her, but she lace her fingers more firmly.

" About that, I wanted to tell you. Last case. I got driven, I got slightly injured" Jim's face grow worried and was about to speak but she cut him "But everything is fine. He cared me. Always did" she says looking at Rick eyes.

"I'm happy for you both, finally made sense." he grins widely but then grow darker "So did you catch the killer? Your last case."

"He run away. My colleagues are working on it. But I'm OK" she convinces herself trying to calm his worry. "They are a good team"

"So, have you made up your mind? Last time you called me you seemed worried about your future. Your job. Are you still decided to quit it?" her dad says in concern.

"I'm taking a month off work. I'll decide when the time comes. I want to relax and try other things." she says smiling at Rick, which brings a strange look on her father face. "Try some hobbies. I had a great time at the Hamptons those past days. Alexis was very friendly." she says.

"Alexis?" Jim sounded doubtful. He knows who she meant but wanted to play fool to see how the man reacted.

" My daugther. She is starting college this year." Rick explained proudly.

"She is a great girl. Last week I felt like with my cousin with her. How are they doing?"

"They are fine. Wouldn't mind if you pay them an impromtu visit. You want anything else, pastries?" the man offers. Rick excuses as his phone buzzes and moves to next room.

"So you two finally?" the man starts while sits next to her.

"Before you start. I've known him for four years. You know as much as I do about him. He is good with me. I know he is way older, and he was married twice and has college daugther but I love him" she defends.

"I wasn't going to attack the man. I like him. I've seen the good he does to you. That's the only that matters to me, that he cares you and makes you happy. We don't know how long I'll be around. I want you be with a good man that loves you as much as I loved your mother. You know my main picture is always ready for yours" says the man smiling and pointing at a blank picture on his wall which says Kate family. She blushes and then worries.

"There's something I need to know? You are fine, right? Please be honest dad" he nods. Rick join them and as the main reason to be there daugther and dad talk was done they go back to the car. Rick drives them back home out of the use but she asks him to take a different route. He obeyed wondering what the reason was. He got a hint when he noticied they were going route to the cementery. She hold his hand as they left the car and lead him to her mom tomb. He knew it was something important for her and felt honoured she picked him, still he was as nervous as if he were going to truly meet his mother-in-law. Kate kneel on the grass and whispered. He didn't manage a word of what she said as stood in a distance to respect their privacy. She wipe her tears away and stands approaching to him. He hold her hand firmly and kissed her forehead. She motioned him to go next. He hesitantly approaches to the stone kneelinng aswell. He hardly doesn't know what to do in those situations. Quite strange taking into account that the man mind revolves about crime. Normally in those moments he would go all Van Helsing and release his tension laughing but that would be so unrespectful. He barely lays his knees on the ground standing himself up in a strange way.

"She is not a zombie. Is not going to grab your legs" she suddenly says to her surprise. She blushes covering her mouth and approaches next to him. She sees he needs some encouragement.

"Just introduce yourself. Tell her how you feel." she says tenderly brushing his hair. She steps back giving him privacy. He stares to the void pondering what to say. He felt overwelmed. That was going to happen some day, but he didn't expect it would be so unexpectedly soon. She bothers waiting.

"We better leave. You fantasy master find it plain stupid. Let's not embarrass yourself more and get home" she resolves angry. He motions her to stop and positions his hands as to pray. He can't believe himself. He hadn't done that in a long while. Not that he is atheist, just he doesn't practice often.

Minutes later he opens his teary eyes and stands holding something from the grass. He runs towards Kate and before they enter the car he holds her.

"You missed that." he shows her her necklace ring and turn her to place it.

She didn't have the courage to discuss him. She was touched by her gesture and surprised by her mistake. She left it on purpose. She didn't want to carry that anymore. It was over.

Soon they get home and they join Martha watching a movie, afterwards the three have dinner and the women keep chatting while Rick excuses himself to write a bit.

"So, what did you do today if you don't mind me asking?" says the old one.

"I got an interview with Gates, my boss. We went to visit my dad"

"Oh sweetheart. That's nice. What did he say?" she asks curious.

"He talked with me, he is fine. Rick was nervous, I understand." she paused "I also visit my mom"

"You miss her." Kate nods shyly "Don't be embarrassed. We all do miss our parents every day. No matter how old we get, how big our family will grow. There will be days when we wonder how life would be if they were still around. It shall give you strenght. You are a great woman. I'm sure she is proud of you." says Martha as Kate lowers her sight and caress her ring. "Well darlings I'm heading to bed. See you tomorrow. And cheer up kid. I'm sure is what your mom wish" she hugs her.

Kate goes to his office and catch him typing, she sits on his couch but he motions her to get closer, tapping his armrest so she can sit there.

"Carrying on with that secret folder of yours in my absence, bunny?" she teases.

"No. I'll write that one just with you." he pecks her "This one is fully yours." she gives him a look and starts reading noticing is her diary. She takes the papers from his table.

"What are you doing?" she sounds scared.

"I told you I'll reorganize them for you. I'm just typing them so are more clear and safer in case the originals disappear. I do that with all my manuscripts. When I still handwrite" he smiles.

"I didn't told you to do so." she looks furious "What have you read?"

"Kate if you haven't noticied I've been reading your like a book long ago. I'm not going to tell anybody nor use anything on my advantage. I swear." he stands and grab her wrist brushing his thumbs to relax her.

"I didn't allow you to do so. Is mine Richard." she huffs

"I'm sorry. I thought I was doing something good." he brushes her hair off her forehead while she ponders and he slowly approaches more towards her holding her. Her head gently resting on his chest feeling his beat. "I think we are far tired. We better go to sleep." he suggests. She nods and both head to sleep. Once cuddled on the bed she traces letters on his chest.

"What are you doing? You yet playful honey?" he smirks.

"You shall know. Aren't I an open book for you?" she hits back.

"I'd prefer a blank page to write together" he winks at her. She grabs his fountain pen from his nightstand drawer, finding also her handcuffs and hidding them under his pillow for later.

"Then do it." he looks surprised by her offer and leans to write something on her belly but she pull his face to hers. "I'm sorry. It's been a hard day. I wanted to be back to my place and relax. And I know you said yours is mine, but still I need mine. Do you understand?" she caress his forearm.

"Sure honey I do. You need your time. It's been a hell of a week and come back. We'll head you back home as soon as Ryan allows us. Ok?" he kisses her tenderly "Now where shall I begin writing?" he kneels towards her to write better on her body. As a teenager he write their letters on her belly but she grabs the pen off his hands. He explores her skin along her shape, her ribs, her legs."Is it a good moment for you to tell me about that tower tattoo of yours?" he kisses her thigh.

A thud against his front door startle them.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sorry for my bad grammar. I'm trying to improve.

They go to the main door as soon as they get on one of his robes each. Rick opens the door, Kate behind him. To their surprise they meet with two familiar faces. One of them goes directly to hug the detective.

"God girl. How are you holding up?" says the ME to her friend. Her companion follows her in.

"Ryan told her you went to the precint today. Why you don't let Gates put you a uniform? They've broken into your home Beckett" says the hispanic one.

"I'm sorry guys. I left the force for a reason." tries to defend the brunette.

"Are you kidding me? She offers you protection, you shall take it. Thankfully you weren't home, but what if you were?" says the ME

"I'm out of everything OK. I'm not thinking about it. I'm over it. I need my time."

"What if they don't want to give you that? They are after you, and you know it. You don't trust us? Don't trust your team?" says the hispanic bothered.

"Is not that Espo. I trust you all. And I miss you, but I need my time. I'm on forced leave for a month. Am I asking that much? Just a month on my own."

"Girl, we care about you. Why don't you let us show you?" says the ME sweetly.

"Lanie, letting you guys care, got Espo suspended too, got that he and Ryan split. If I involve any of you what will be next? No, I can't let that happen."

"Nonsense chica. You are like our sister, for everyone of us. I fight for my family. I'm staying, make sure you are OK until you get back home and Gates put you a uniform" he shows a bag.

"I said I don't want one."

"I was special forces, you have to take that."

"Anyone want a drink?" Rick offers to calm them all. He notices Kate's tension is growing.

The three take a seat on Rick's couch and he soon joins them with a beer each.

"Espo I can't let you do that. You stay at my door until when? You have your life too."

"I don't care. I can't let them hurt you. They are after you, like it or not we shall be ready to stop them. So quit being that stubborn and let us help you." says the hispanic.

"You are taking it all wrong. First, no-one knows who broke into my apartment. We have no proof it was Maddox or anyone else. Could be a random robber. You all are going crazy with that."

"Do you really believe that? Maddox never leaves a trace behind his footsteps. What else do you need to let us help you beat that war?"

"Espo I'm not a soldier, just a police detective. Rick's place is safe"

"Oh that's why you are both with similar robes, yeah girl" Lanie murmurs gossiping.

"How did you find where I am?"

"Have you lost your memory from last week? You phoned us from the Hamptons few days ago. Plus, when I came over your place last time he told me you were going to the Hamptons, since you are together. Ryan said your place has been broken into, so you can't stay in yet. Were else would you be?" says the ME and then leans in "And I bet there's a lot more you'll have to tell me."

"Guys I appreciate your concern but I can't let you do that for God knows how long. I'll be fine. His place is safe. And we have no proof who has broken into my place. Please go home." she stands and almost begs them.

"I won't interfer with your life. Just want to be sure you are safe. Maddox is on the loose. He left you hanging on a roof. You think he will truly stop with that?" insists the hispanic.

"I'll tell Gates to bring a uniform tomorrow if I'm not back to my place, that's all" she resolves.

Lanie and Espo leave apparently convinced but Espo doesn't go too far.

Kate and Rick go back to sleep, too tired to carry on their previous playful mood. He cuddles her tight hoping that would be enough to protect her, but he knows is not. He's seen true concern in her eyes. Like when she had to deal with that snipper case. This whole break into has brought back bad experiences that she was struggling to leave behind to let herself be happy. How unfair life is. Every step forward means two backwards. They are together but suddenly it feels like a third party is yet between them.

They hardly sleep. She pretends to sleep, her eyes are closed, but her mind doesn't stop thinking what her friends told her. Their worry has suddenly sunk in her deeply. What if are they right? She tried to calm down, but her worries were looping on her mind. The only thing she could hope is not to end having a vivid nightmare. She is sure that would scare the hell out of Castle.

Castle remained a bit still, he tried to relax on the fact that she allow him to cuddle her, although they went to sleep all silent. None knew what to say. He know her well, she needs her time, he is willing to give her the space she needs too. He worries she will banish him now. Why their relationship have to be that complicated? He stares at her, half convinced that he manages to make her feel safe so she can sleep. But her eyelids move in a way that make him doubtful. They promised no secrets, no lies to each other. That wasn't a lie, that was simply none knew what to say to each other. He wonder what he can do to reassure her, at least enough that she won't run back to that pit where she cares her wounds alone.

The next morning they wake to the noise of Martha chatting with someone else in the living room.

Castle kiss Kate gently and manages a smile from her. Not as bad as he thought, right?

They have breakfast, involving on Martha's talk. Something about theatre as usual, and parties.

Other than that the couple speak few, even to each other.

"So, lovebirds, what's your plan for the day?"

Just in that moment Kate gets a phone call from Ryan. Martha approaches her soon a bit worried.

"You know, her place has been broken into. She wanted to head back. May be everything was too sudden, too much." he informs worried.

"Well things shall be different since now you are together. She trust you right? Just trust her."

Kate comes back and tells Castle, because suddenly he is Castle to her, that she can go back to her place tomorrow.

"I'm going to miss you, you know. After that week." he whispers behind her.

"I know. Me too. But I need a time there." she caress his neck.

"I can stay with you. Help you put things in order." he assures her caressing her cheeks.

"Thanks, but you need to do your duties too." they glare and she assures him "I'm not running."

"OK. Just if you need anything, anything at all, you let me know." he hugs her.

"I promise." she goes back to the room to get dressed and once she is back with her purse, she heads to the main door. She stops feeling his worried look behind her.

"I just need a walk. I'll be back before lunch. Nothing to worry Rick" she softly say, he kiss her and she leaves. She is lying. Both know.

She is surprised to find that Espo truly spent the night at the door.

"Thank you for your effort. But there's no need. Ryan told me I can head back home tomorrow. Gates will put me a uniform couple there." she say and leaves downstairs.

She knows where to go. She needs to relax, and although she knows a very well way to do so, she doesn't want to use Rick for that. She is with him for good. No, she is with him for everything. Yet she refuses to let herself fall to the old habits. Using a man to forget her troubles. She can't do that to him, not only because she truly loves him, but because he knows her worries, her sorrows, he knows her well enough to read her. She can't lie to him.

Soon she is allowed to the office. She wasn't expected. She sits on the big couch.

"So, tell me what's new, Kate?" says the deep voice.

"We are together. I went to his place and told him. We went to his summer place last week. Everything is fine. He helps me. I feel safe, he is kind, thoughtful." the man nods.

"But?"

"I came back to my place and was trashed. My last case I fought with my snipper. He left me hanging on a roof. I got suspended for a month. I said I resign, but didn't. My boss told me to think that through before I finally decide in a month. Meanwhile the snipper is on the loose. I forgot about it the past week, I truly did. Just cared to have a good time with Rick and his family, and I did. But now, I don't know what to do."

"Do you feel safe with him?" she nods "Do you trust him?" she nods "So tell him how are you feeling now. A relationship is not jut for the good moments, is for the whole, and that includes the bad times."

"But he is going to freak out. He'll be overprotective. I want my space, I need my space."

"Is he not allowing you your space?"

"No."

"So what's the matter? Let he care for you. You don't have to thank him back right away. He is a understanding men, isn't he? He's been beside you all this time, why would he change or run now?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you thought that. You thought to run away yourself, don't you? Change old habits is not easy Kate. You need to understand that, you need to let him know that." she looks down "Kate, he gave you your space and time when you had PTSD, he will do again. Just you have to be honest with him."

"But what do I do? I would run away, take my bike and drive until I empty the deposit. But I can't do it now. What can I do?"

"I just told you. Tell him, be honest." she looks doubtful.

"What if somehow he already knows?" she tentativelly say.

"What do you mean? You've told him?"

"No." the takes a moment "When I entered my home, my old diary was scattered on the floor. He pick it and is reorganizing it. I didn't ask him to, he just offered. My diary was my therapy before, and while I came here."

"And you fear what he'll acknowledge about your fears and old habits through your lines?"

"May be"

"Everybody have a past. You have the right to not let him know. That's why you fear he'll run away?" she nods "Take your time. Get distracted with something. Let your friends help you. You are opening up, you can't let that close you down again. You can do it. Just trust your friends." she stands "Let him help you too, and help him back. Be honest with him and yourself."

She goes back home. Rick doesn't ask her, he understands she needs her time. They prepare and have lunch together. Then he keeps her busy playing videogames, watching a movie and taking her for a walk to the park. Yet all of a sudden she seems hesitant about almost everything. She let him care her, she smiles to his jokes, but she hardly banter back. Something is wrong but none is brave to voice it nor know how to fix it.

Back home, while he answer a phone call from Paula she gets to his laptop and write something new on the file of her diary. Is not pretty but she needs to take it off her chest. She soon turns it off.

Afterwards she feels a bit more relaxed, still she seems nervous, on alert all the time.

"Are they yet angry?" she asks as he enters his office.

"I don't care. Are you angry at me?" he askes her playfully.

"Never." she holds his hand that was resting on her shoulder.

"I'll take you back to your place tomorrow. My offer still stands." he informs.

"Thanks." she shyly caress his hand.

"Not deserved. I did nothing special" he says and leans to whisper "Yet" she smiles tenderly.

"Oh are you going to do something?" she smirks back. Finally a relaxed sign.

"May be. But I won't show my cards yet. It'll be a surprise." he kiss her nape, she shivers.

"So what was the phone call about?"

"Stuff about a tour. Boring." he massages her shoulders "Nice walk?"

"It was. You'd make it better." she kiss his palm "Tell me about that tour."

She stands allowing him to sit on his chair, he sits her on his lap, his chin on her shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **Again I apologize for any big mistakes. Be warned is M.

"Well, Gina made her organize a tour. If not she says she'll kick me. She is yet organizing the places. The States surely. It will be for around a week. In ten days or so." he says kissing her neck.

"I'll miss you" Is all she can say. She wishes to say more.

"You don't have to. You can come with me." he suggests.

"You'll be busy" she meant to say I don't want to be a burden.

"Not all the time. That is my job not my priority." he nibbles her earlobe tenderly.

"I don't want to distract you from your duties" she insists.

"But I love it when you do. Remember those scenes we wrote last week?" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"You are crazy" she rolls her eyes.

"Very well diagnosed my private doctor" he sucks her pulse point on her neck making her gasp. "We can try your favourite. I'm always game. May be that treatments is my cure" he suggests.

"You don't know what is, and may be I don't want you get cured"

"I know I'll love trying it." he feels her belly and it grumbles. "You hungry?" she nods.

He holds her hand and lead her to the kitchen. He makes her watch the tv while he cooks. He is willing himself as an offer to distract her from her fears. He's read her diary enough to know her old habits. He can't blame her. He won't blame her for using him to relax herself. If that's the way she manages to distract herself of her troubles he willingly will do his best. Is that the truth? Is not that he misses to be fully intimate with her again? Well he took her in his shower a day ago, and it sure helped both them, expressing what they need to but fear to say. They'll talk this through when she is ready, and she will be, he thought. Meanwhile he'll help her the best he can, by making the day easy for her, keeping up with nice details to let her relax, forget her fears and feel safe, and if his body is required, so be it. Is not like he is using her diary on his advantage, right? So far is the only glimpse he has to her fears, still a way to communicate while she struggles alone. He wish she'd let him involve into the battle, but so far the diary is enough. Both seem to know it. Both fear to stumble with the wrong words. He serves her favourite meal and that pleases her a lot, making her feel home. She glows when she smiles at him.

Soon after he leads her to his bedroom where they watch Temptation Lane until she falls asleep in his arms.

Everything seems smooth he thought gladly.

Few hours later she drifts in a slumber that turns into a nightmare. She is in her bedroom in the middle of the night and someone enters in her kitchen and to her room. Is Maddox, the dark tower stands in front of her. No weapon but his hands, he grabs her. She tries to escape and runs throwing her furniture. He pull her hair, making her stop in pain. She tries to kick him but he holds her feet making her fall on the floor. His feet hovering over her, looking at her worry eyes. He pull her to stand up. He wants a fair fight. In a twist he is strangling her. She can't speak, nor breath. Her mind goes black and white and is a blur of memories of her mother and her case. Faces, dates, pictures, places flashing in her mind. And suddenly nothing seems to make sense. She has a deep feel of betrayal. Someone has sold her. Is not that she started the dominoes falling because Rick brought up her mother case, someone has offered her as a prey. She tries to twist to escape from Maddox. She shut her eyes and remembers her shooting. Rick over her begging her. She manages to answer him, to kiss him, and suddenly she is freeing from Maddox grip by racking her nails to his hands. He shouts when she dugs deep enough to make him bleed profusely. She encourages to push him to her wall and kick on his knees making him bend in pain. She pulls his hair to steady up his head and she sees Castle. She unhold her grip to his hair and looks around and down at her feet seeing Rick, shoot in the head and almost lifeless. Their CIA case. Suddenly the pieces fall into place. That definitelly is a war she has very few chances to win. His breath low and his heat disappearing. She twists and screams, sobbing.

Then she feels two firm hands gripping her wrists and she opens her eyes to meet his worried eyes.

"Shush. Everything is fine. I'm here. You are safe" Rick cuddles her softly. No point to let her know she has truly fisted his chest several times. "Is gone. Just a nightmare." he kneels to look at her crying eyes. He can't bear to look at her like that. He kisses her forehead and cheeks wishing it make her tears disappear. She sobs.

"It was so real, Rick. You were shoot. You died in my arms. It was all because, Maddox was there. And Sophia" she says in sobs. Her body temperature rises, is almost burning. He fears for her and removes her lacy nightgown. She push him backwards and stare at him, shooting a death glare.

"You are hot. I'm trying to help here not taking advantage." her bad habits had betrayed her.

Soon she is bare naked and he leads her to the bathroom where he runs a bath for her. He is about to leave.

"Wait, come here please" he kneels beside her grabbing a sponge. "Inside, I need you"

He removes his clothes and soon joins her in the tub, her head laying gently on his chest, he caressing her sides. She finally breaths calmly.

"I'm sorry" she says looking into his eyes.

"No need to. No apologies. You are OK now, that's all that matters." he wraps his arms around her tighter.

She leans on him gently. He breaths her in and relax himself. Both close eyes and relieve on their intimate moment. Nobody can steal that from them.

"Talk to me please. Tell me anything." she says in a whisper. He stands confused and she grabs his leg.

"I'm just going to pick a book to read to you. As you do to relax" he explains. She caress his thigh.

"That was when I didn't have you. But now I do." he sits back.

"I'd rather listen to you" he clarifies kissing her tenderly, she deepens the kiss making clear her choice. He accepts her offer lacing his fingers gently on the hair in her neck approaching and tilting her head to deepen the kiss better. He explores her mouth while her breath rises. She leans on him, her hands explore his chest, feeling his clavicle, nipples and belly. Her hand lowers to his thigh and he doesn't stop her this time. He looks into her eyes briefly, she is confident while he roams her back. She grips him firmly yet delicate, looking into his eyes. He sucks in a breath, she bits her lip and he kiss her deeply again. She pumps him slowly while he prolong their kiss. He breaks for air and kiss along her neck and shoulders.

"Your hands are healing" he breaths making her smirk.

"The Raconteurs?" she asks speeding her movement making him gasp for air.

"May be. You wanted one, didn't you?" he lowers his hand to her belly and her thigh, she opens for him.

"May be. What can he offer?" he caress her inner thigh.

"Everything you need. Any time you want" he says separating her folds, she hisses in surprise.

"No pay back?" she asks while he trace his index around her entrance, teasing.

"No regrets." he slides inside her slowly. "Just let go" he whispers in a ragged voice.

She suddenly stop and take him back to his bedroom. He lays and she holds the cuffs.

"Tonight is fully yours" he says huskily. He cuff his left hand to the bedpost she does the other hand. "You trust me?" he asks.

"Fully, but you are the one cuffed."

"Don't underestimate me. Have your fun, I'll have mine"

She kisses his cheek and slowly traces a path of warm kisses along his jaw, his neck, his shoulder, his chest, licks his nipples and follows kissing his belly. His breath is ragged. He is getting lost in the sensations her soft warm lips rise on his body. She kisses and licks his belly while her hands roam his hipbones and thigh. He groans in anticipation. She kisses his thigh and hipbones. She wants to have him begging her merciless. He hardly can hold to his need. She caress his knees while kissing his waistband. He bucks his hips upwards. She smirks, she has him under her control. She licks his belly and around his manhood.

"Gosh, Kate" he breaths raggedly.

Just then she wraps her lips around his tip. He hisses. If his hands were free he would caress her hair tenderly. He hates to receive and not give her back. On the other side, she wants to thank him all he's done for her, not just fullfil a fantasy she had for long. She bobs up and down creating a steady friction enough to melt him already. He can't look at her, or he'll embarrass himself. He throws his head back trying to remain still but his hips buck upwards again.

"Sorry" he breaths in apology. She stops and approaches to his face.

"Just let go" she purrs and soon allows all his manhood in her warm mouth. He can feel himself deep in her. His eyes roll. Yes, she is deep throating him. She bobs up and down, and her hand pushes his tensed belly as her fingers caress his hip. He thrusts slowly in, growling for the feeling. She let him set the pace until she knows he is close to jump the edge. She push him to the mattress and leaves him with a plop. He whimpers at the loss. She straddles him. His member throbbing against her skin. She rubs his tip making him buck upwards close to her entrance. His eyes are filled with lust. She leans in to whisper. His erection caressing her folds.

"Are you ready?" she purrs, he growls nodding vehemently. She approaches to free his hands.

"Why?" he breaths surprised. He fears it's over that soon.

"I need them now." she caress his cheeks. He nods again and ghost a kiss to her lips that she almost refuse. She grab his hands and grip them on her hips. She looks deeply into his lustful eyes. He sucks in a deep breath as she lowers herself on his stiff member. He growls. She feels wet, warm and tight around him. He doubts he can last long. She holds herself on his shoulders and spread her legs more open while her inner walls adapt to his size. He is thick and hard. "Just let go" she whisper him, brushes his damp hair and sucks at his earlobe "wild". As she licks the sweat on his clavicle he thrust into her in a firm movement filling her. She groans and kiss along his neck. He moves her hips up and down slowly. Her inner walls contract squeezing him.

"Oh god. Not yet" he can't hold on much longer and he wants to relieve on the feeling of being inside her a bit longer. She don't let him kiss her now. He knows her well and knows why. That's a medicine not love.

"We have the whole night" she purrs. That spurs him up and he thrust within her harder making her head tilt backwards, her lips parted. He grips her hips harder pulling her in as he thrust again. She cries in pleasure arching her back. He uses the change of angle to hit her sweet spot.

"God Rick. No." she screams. He sucks at her nipple hard while he slows to stroke within her. He warned he'll have his fun later. He won't last long, he is burning inside. Yet he wants to torture her a bit. He rubs his thumb on her clit, his other hand holding strong on her shoulder. He sucks her nipple again, while rubbing her nub and thrusting deeper and harder within her, pulling her. That makes it and both jump the edge. Their bodies tremble and shake as the waves of pleasure wash over their bodies leaving them boneless. His hips thrust on their own accord within her. He keeps rubbing her nub while she comes down from her high. They lock eyes mesmerized. Both breath at the same time "Thank you honey". He cuddles her until their breathing evens. She stands and brings some fruit in a bowl. He knows of her like on macedonia so has one ready in the fridge for whenever she fancies one. Both eat the fruit between kisses to one another. Because now she finally allows him to kiss her, once her treatment is done.

He knows she's used him to avoid her ghosts to haunt her again in the middle of the night. But he doesn't care, at least she is far more relaxed now. They'll talk soon, he hopes. She hasn't push him away from her as he fear. He misses being allowed to kiss her while they be that intimate, but he can manage without that for now. She on the other hand fears he will know she has used him. A womanizer like him wouldn't care about that right? Still she feels a string of guilt pressuring her. Not as tight as the memory of Maddox grip on her neck. She felt her tendons tensing under the pressure and still swallows carefully at the thought of it.

She sleeps feeling protected by Rick's arms wrapping her although her mind is yet on alert. She really needs to do something, but she can't bring herself to do as Burke adviced and be as honest with Rick yet. She fears he'll run away when he knows about her vivid nightmares and the fact that she seems to currently be living them awake since she still remember having had seen Maddox near Alexis campus. She doesn't want to trust herself on that. How can she expect he will understand that? He will run away to hide from her foolness. She won't blame him. But she's had a nightmare tonight, he will know soon if she stays yet at his place any longer. She feels more decided to go back to her apartment first thing tomorrow morning, no matter what he say. How can she suddenly not let him decide anymore? That's not fair.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: the usual.

A bit shorter than usual. I didn't plan the middle scene like that, it just developed that way. Again sorry for big grammar mistakes.

Kate wakes by the feeling of his grip tightening around her waist. Then the warmth grows distant as he separates and stirs. His palm rests again gently on her belly and she feels his lips touching her shoulder blades tenderly.

"Good morning, honey." she can feel his stubble as harsh as his husky voice.

"Morning bunny" she turns trapping his lips on hers. Then palms his chest as he approaches her on top.

She grinds on his hips making him groan.

"Yet hungry?" he smirks letting his hand brush along her spine.

"May be. But is time for breakfast" she suddenly stands, put on her pajamas and goes to his kitchen.

He puts on his robe and follows her playfully. They stop as they meet Martha there.

" Go on darlings. I just stopped by for a couple bits. I'm heading back to the studio" says the older one.

" We were just getting ready for the day." Rick says sounding unconvinced with his own words.

" I'm going back to my apartment today" Kate informs happily. Rick and Martha's faces grow worried.

" Darling. There's no hurry. We like you here." says the old one hugging the brunette.

" Yeah me too. But my place has been trashed and I need to reorganize it all"

"I'll be glad to help" Rick offers.

"I know. But I'd rather do it on my own. Gates has put me a uniform there already."

They all eat in silence, just mentioning about Alexis updates on her college experience. Rick keeps calling her every day. Kate can't help but feel a little worried when she remembers had seen who she mostly fears around there. She believes is her mind playing games on her. But can she be sure about anything?

Kate gets a quick shower while Rick talks with his mother. The woman is a bit worried about the young lady. They all think she is in danger and Beckett is ignoring the clear evidences.

"Care her well, my son. Reason her to stay here." he looks in disbelief "Has the man called you?"

"No. I told her when we fought. But I hadn't call him." he looks down for a moment "I wish I could stop her. I'd like to think she'll be safe. And at least she is not pushing me at the moment. Still I wonder how I can help her. I don't want anything in return, just keep her smiling." Kate overhears him and feels more guilty.

Kate enters in the living room as Martha excuses herself to leave. Kate carries her bag again. Rick approaches kissing her.

" You can stay any time you want, you know that, right?" he caress her cheek laying his forehead on hers.

"I know. You too." she says looking into his eyes and smiling.

"Is that an invitation for me to come over?" he smirks swaying their bodies together as his hands rest on her waist.

" Do you need to be invited to come over and visit your girlfriend?" she suddenly realise what she's said.

"Any time?" he asks to make sure she said that.

"Absolutely" she says kissing him.

He gets ready and drives her home. When they enter her apartment she leaves her bag in her bedroom. He follows her, and when she turns back she stumbles on him.

" Rick you don't have to follow me everywhere. Like that." she informs.

"Sorry. Is just I worry about you, you know." he defends.

"I know. And I do about you too." they kiss briefly and they hear the uniform cough outside. "You can leave now"

"I thought I was invited any time"

"Yeah, but right now I'd rather tidy up my home myself, thanks."

"I can help you." She gives him a tired look "OK, I'll leave you to it. But if anything, call me. I'll come over later"

"Rick, I'm fine. There's no need to be around me all the time. I can handle myself." she defends.

"I know. Is just I don't like to be away from you for long" he hugs her tight and leaves home.

Kate looks everywhere, slowly feeling the damage done on her place. She starts to pick papers leaving them on her desk. Her guitar is broken. That pisses her. Her picture glasses are broken. No image has been stolen or damaged but for the big painting. Her books are thrown everywhere. But seems there's no missing object of any value nor economical or sentimental. Her ring. Thankfully she brought it with her to the trip. How did she ever thought of leaving it at her mom's grave few days ago?

After spending a good couple hours tidying she finds her bike keys. Would be too bad have a short ride now?

She doesn't think twice and leaves her place. She turns on the engine. That sensation she only feels driving. She drives out the city, no plan where or when to come back. Back to the old habits and she doesn't seem to care. But she does. She knows she is running. Not away. She hasn't forbidden him to visit her. She offered her door, said it will be open any time. That is not running away, right? But she feels she is. Having to built her place again is tiring. She is tired of this war in which she didn't choose to took part in. She doesn't want anyone else to get involved. But how can she stop if she doesn't know why are they after her? She just knows her snipper, but who is behind him and why? Seems she's spent way too much time with Rick because it feels like she is the one throwing crazy theories and the truth is she believes them.

She is doing wrong and she knows it. All this time he has been her partner and she's let him help her with her case and her mother's. But why has she got back to her uses and used him? Why isn't she brave to tell him?

Has it been a delusion? Too good to be true. Too long without bumps on the road. Her life has been a long roller coaster ride. Does she have any right to make him catch a seat next to her knowing that?

True he likes risks, but he doesn't deserve that. He has many things to lose. She thinks of calling him and break up. She thinks to drive far far away until she runs out of money and forgets her name.

She kneels and splash fountain water on her face. A kid approaches her with a dog.

" Eden stop, don't scare the lady" says a male voice approaching them both. "Sorry"

"No problem." says the detective sitting on a bench that allows any visitor to marvel with the city sights.

The man tells the kid to apology but he just shakes his head not. Finally before Kate gets on her bike.

"Lady. I'm sorry. I'm learning to lead my dog" says the kid pronouncing each syllabe slowly. The kid notices her strange look. Is not every day when one sees a teenager speaking that way. "I'm good in maths and logic" defends the kid out of use.

"No worries kid." says Kate. The kid offers her a hand shake that she takes. The kid looks her in the eye and feels calm. Then she notices. The kid remind her of little Edgar, that missing child they found at the beach.

Kate can be lucky she has gone through a lot but have people that love and care her around her. How can she run away and leave them behind?

"Do you come here often?" the kid braves to say. "I play chess. Do you? We can plan one day"

"I bet you'd win me." resolves the detective.

"The matter is to play. I can teach you to win. Do you want to learn? You fear a kid can't teach anything?" resolves the kid.

"Dennis! Excuse him lady." the man interrupts approaching her. "I'm his cousin. I've never grown a kid before"

" You mean baby sitting him right?" she voices her thoughs.

" His parents died in a accident. He's been depressed since. In fact I think you are the first, 'friend' he makes"

"You know what, Dennis. I'll be glad to let you teach me play chess next time I come here. Take care."

Kate puts her helmet on and drives back home. She didn't expect a talk like that. Normally nobody goes there. Who would go to the outsides of the city on a weekday before midday? Exactly Kate, who would?

But there she is as she used to. At least she doesn't plan to go get drunk next. Her mind is blank right now. She just worries for the two kids. She doesn't feel threatened by the fact her home has been broken into by her snipper, does she? Then why is she there now? Why has she left Rick's home? Burke is right, she shall be honest with him and stop pretending she isn't scared.

Meanwhile Rick gets an unexpected call.

"Mr Castle?" Rick hears a strong low voice and inmediatelly thinks is Mr Smith. He frozes.

"Is this Mr Castle there? I'm doctor Burke. Kate's therapist." the voice explaines.

"Yeah. Sorry I was distracted. What happens? I've never got a phone call from you before. Is everything right with Kate? Has she missed an appointment last week?" Rick asks worried.

"No. She is fine." the man pauses "She came in yesterday. Has she told you about that?" Rick shakes his head not knowing the man can't see him.

"No she hasn't. Why she went there? If you don't mind me ask."

" Do you know about her issues Mr Castle?" the therapist ask him.

"I do. She's told me. I've known her for four years now. Why? Shall I know something else? " Rick grows worried.

"Calm down. Everything is fine. I just wanted to check on you." he pauses again "Normally I'd appoint a talk with you, but under the circumstances I understand you are busy with her place"

"She's gone to her place. I offered to help her, she refused. I'm seeing her later" Rick pauses to think "Wait. Do you always appoint a talk with your patients partners?" Rick asks surprised.

"Not. But she told me her place has been trashed and that now is with you. Do you know she comfronted with her snipper recently, right?" the therapist asks.

"Yeah. Were are you trying to go?" Rick asks tilting his head.

"I just want to warn you it will bring back issues. Are you aware of her old habits Mr Castle?"

"Well, she had a nightmare last night. She told me about the dream. I tried to calm her my best. She gave me her old diary and I'm organizing it. I'm getting a glimpse on that I think. Why?"

" She had put it all behind her for good. If you care about her you won't let that issue to cause a step back on all we've advanced. I'm not threating you, just warning in order to count with your collaboration."

"OK. So how can I help? If I can."

"Do you truly love her Mr Castle?" the therapist asks stright.

"Excuse me? Where does that comes from? A bit gossiping are we right?"

"Mr Castle, she's been coming to therapy for over a year. We've talked long about you." he pauses "Not only about you, but her cases and the way you care for her. She cares about you. " he pauses again while Rick's features turn puzzled "You shall keep her enterntained while the case resolves. She shall feel safe. She'll ask for her space and time, you shall grant it. But don't let her take it all. You'll need to be very understanding. Willing to listen more than speak. Don't push her to talk, let her do." he pauses again "Mr Castle do you really love her enough to take down the last row of her wall?"

"Yes, Mr Burke. I've been here all this time. I'll keep helping her no matter what."

"Good. I've done almost all I could do. Make sure she let you know by herself about her old habits. Is not the same read than experience. I think you know what I mean. She did pretty bad to herself in the past Mr Castle. Just be ready to find any surprise. Take care" and with that he hangs up.

Rick looks confused. Because he is confused. Has that truly happened? Has her therapist truly phoned him to tell him that? That feels a bit strange. Why would her therapist call him? Does he thinks he has issues too? Why it feels like he has just spoken to Mr Smith again?

Rick grabs his keys and a bag with his laptop and her scattered diary and drives back to her place. He finds her at her stairs.

"Kate? Where did you go? I thought you were home." he says confused seeing her carry her helmet.

"Rick. I didn't expect you here that early." she turns. She looks at him with a weak smile and holds his hand bringing him home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: the usual.**

They get home and while she places her helmet on the table she motions him to sit on the couch. He leaves his bag on the side. The place is yet a bit messy. None braves to start the conversation.

"Do you want a drink?" she offers tentativelly.

"As you wish" he simply says and stands. She worries he'll be mad at her. He approaches her. "Let me help"

They prepare tea together, in silence. He looks at her warmly which relax her.

"Listen, I went for a quick ride. I hadn't used my bike in almost two weeks. I needed a little break. That's all" she defends.

"Is OK." he serves their cups "I told you I could help" he reminds her.

"You are busy organizing the tour. I didn't want to interrupt your duties" she justifies.

"Kate have I told you what my priority is, didn't I?" he insists.

"But is your job." she says in almost a whisper. She feels a bit useless being jobless.

"You want me to stay?" he places his hand gently on her waist and his thumb on her chin, looking into her eyes.

"No. No. You have to go." she sakes her head.

"You can always come with me." he caress her back. She breaks and pace in the room not looking at him. "What's the matter Kate? Aren't we OK?" he asks tentativelly.

"I'm sorry. I can't." she says in a voice he can barely hear so he approachs and she walks back.

"Kate did I do something wrong? Looks like you are hidding from me." he says in concern.

"No. I'll never do that." she defends yet not looking at him.

"So, tell me what is the matter? I told you anything can be fixed." he tries to remain calm. She sits, her hands laced. He sits in front of her. "Kate, let me help you. Don't hide. There's no reason to. Don't run" he begs her.

" I'm not running away from you Rick. I needed to think. That's all." she says firmly.

" Kate I know I seem to talk like a parrot but I can listen too. To whatever you need to tell. I won't say a word. I promise. Give me some credit here." he says placing his hand on hers. They keep silent a bit more while he playfully caress her hand, slowly tracing a line up to her forearm. Making her smile. Then she holds his hand.

"You know I had a bad dream last night. I saw Maddox. I thought I've seen him when we helped Alexis with the move in. I think is my mind tricking me because he is on the loose. I forgot about my fight with him, the fact that he is my snipper. But coming here and finding my place trashed has been a punch in the guts again. I don't want you panic. But is not fair if I pretend to you that it doesn't affect me." and she sobs. He holds her in a warm hug, laying her head gently on his shoulder. She can feel his warm fingers rubbing her shoulder blades and caressing her hair trying to soothe her.. She feels so weak, so broken. And she never wanted him to see her like that.

"I'm sorry Rick." she apologies in a sob.

"Shush. No apologies. I told you. Is OK. I understand. You needed your time. I'm glad you told me." he tries to reassure her.

"No Rick. Please let me tell you." he wipes her tears from her cheeks as she look into his eyes. "In the past when that happened I got drunk or called some random ex to, you know." she says in embarrassement. "Rick I'm sorry I used you last night" and she burst weeping again. He lays her head on his shoulder again.

"I know. Is OK." he whispers her. She stares at him. "Your diary. You wrote it. Is OK. I told you I won't judge. I have no right to. Is your past. Now we shall focus on our future. OK?" he pulls her into a hug then looks into her eyes again "Listen Kate, I love you and you are perfect the way you are. Never think different. Just let me ask you something." she nods "Never push me away like that. I'm here for everything you need. We will win whatever battle comes. Together." she lays on his chest in a cuddle.

"Thank you" she whispers after a moment.

"Always. I'm glad you've let me help you. And I'm OK you used me" she gives him a look. "Hey I don't want you get drunk to forget"

"Sure" she says palming his chest with a smile.

"Thank you." he says smiling back.

"Why?" she asks confused.

"For smiling. I love your smile. And for putting up with me." he says kissing her.

"How's Alexis?" she suddenly ask him.

"Oh she is fine. Hadn't she called you? After the good you've bonded last week." she shakes her head no "She is all smitten with Brian. They are taking some courses together. We could go visit her before the weekend. I'm yet up with visitng your father this weekend."

"I'll phone them tomorrow. So what's in the bag? You've invited yourself for a sleep over?" she asks with a smirk.

"I'm almost half way through your diary. I thought you might want to have a look." he happily inform her.

He grabs his bag and prepares his laptop. She lays gently against his body on the couch while they read the pages.

_He is a pain in the ass! He took pictures of my crime scene! Not enough with that he sent them over to someone. And he brags he slept with her. There's any woman in NY that hasn't been on his bed? And he finds that amusing somehow. It just gets on my nerves. I'd punch him really hard one day. He told me about the character he is basing on me. Yeah, no way I'll tell him about when I queued to get his first novel signed. His ego don't need more encourage. He called me slut. He said the character will be slutty. I don't know how I can put up with him. And he also called a prostitute. In the precint! He is nuts I'm sure. He tried to win his back by buying us an espresso machine. Like that would do anything. But I got a bit of revenge. I went to his reading. Left him slack-jawed. You wouldn't believe his face. But then I acknowledged he picked a stripper name for the character! Nikki Heat? What the hell? And I have to put nice faces to that? The major owes me big time. How can he seem to be always two steps ahead of me? I'm a detective. I hope next case will be better._

"I was bothered with you back then" she defends embarrassed.

"Is OK. I was bad back then. But I've improved" he kisses her. "Do you want to know?"

"About what?"

"About Tiffany."

"Why would I want to know? Is past." she says kissing him.

"Nothing happened. I never went pro. Well at times I asked an escort for some event. To not go alone. But just a couple times. And nothing happened afterwards" he assures her.

"Is OK. Is your past. I don't judge" she cuddles him.

"Really?" he asks surprised.

"Rick what I care now is we finally are on the same page. Even if we have to rewrite it at times" she says looking down.

"God. You can't be sexier now" he pulls her into a deep kiss that leave them both breathless.

"So, how is your other file going?" she asks him in a purr.

"I haven't written anything new so far. I like to do it with you. Is more fun" he whispers feeling her belly.

"You game for few pages?" she asks standing.

"Sure." he says opening the file. She warms up their tea cups again and bring them to the table. She sits and he lets her do the honours starting the new scene. "Where are you going to place them? Let free my dear"

"I doubt I can let freer than yesterday." she pecks him.

"Oh the fun fact about a game record is it can always be beat up. I can help you with that." he suggests feeling her back.

_After a tiring day at work Edgar Alexander goes home. He finds his place quiet. Too quiet. She is on a trip. It's been two days ago but he miss her dearly. He lies on his couch, his eyes closing due to tiredness. He is not aware he's fallen asleep until he feels a breath ghosting in front of him. He opens his eyes to find an angelical face looking at him. Her eyes devouring him. She is naked. He shifts on the couch before he pulls her onto him. She lays on top and they kiss hungrily. Among whispers of missing one another they burn each other skin through their caress until the burning inside them is too much and he stands holding her. Her legs grip on his waist. He can't make it to his bedroom. He sits her on his kitchen counter and gets his wicked way with her. The whole night they try his furniture weight resistence._

The text turn their breath ragged as their pupils dilate. Rick and Kate are truly burning. Rick goes to her kitchen looking for something on her fridge.

"Ice cubes are on the freezer" she says out of the blue. He gives her a wicked smile.

"Your mind is so on the gutter my lady. You've had dinner?" he throws her a predatory look.

"I'm not hungry." No point telling him she had supper on the way back from her driving.

"Too bad I fancied some dessert tonight" he says approaching with a can of whipped cream. She grins.

" Child on a sugar rush" she throws back as he kiss her.

" You have no idea. Want some too?" he warns her as she unbuttons his shirt from the low part.

" Is your candy." she answers as he caress her shoulders.

They get into her bedroom between kisses and he rests the can on her nightstand. She offers him her cuffs.

"No need to. I want you free. Relaxed." he whispers her.

Once their clothes rest on the feet of her bed they crawl up. He slowly caress her body from her cheeks to her feet. Relishing on the moment and the gasps he elicits from her as his warm fingertips advance on his exploration. He then kisses her on the opposite direction. She shivers as he kisses her thighs.

"Oh Rick" she breaths as she feels his warm breath ghosting her belly. She tries to bring his hand to her center.

"No, no. Is my candy." he whispers in a low voice that melts her insides even more. "Sweet lady"

He advances kissing her whole front, then massages her feeling her muscles relax and tense the moment he kisses her skin again. She moans and squirms as he approaches her thigh again. He has a wicked grin. He likes to tease her that way, above all he wants tonight to be special. Make sure she is relaxed and feels safe.

He picks the can and sprays cream on her body, from her legs to her arms including her belly and chest. He caress her feet and slowly kiss upwards, and licks the cream off her right leg. Word Understanding is cleaned off her skin. He looks at her tenderly proceeding to her left leg, this time cleaning the word Honesty. He carries on to her belly making her squirm at the sensation, cleaning the word Truth. The same for her chest with the word Love. And up to her arms, cleaning off the words Loyalty and Trust from her left and right one respectivelly. Her feet on the bed, her knees bend.

"I promise you those." he finally says caressing her hair. He cuddles her letting her feel his chest.

"I love you" she says staring at his eyes. He smiles and kiss her deep and long.

They fall sleep between tender kisses and caress while looking into each other eyes as their hands loosely caress their hair, wearing a honest wide smile each. Seems the brief storm is over, no ghosts on the haunted home tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: the usual.**

Next morning Kate wakes to the smell of fresh coffee coming from her living room. She puts on his shirt and meet him in her kitchen wrapping her arms around him from behind. Her chest crushing against his back, her hands resting on his firm belly.

"Morning sweet lady. You slept well?" he says with a grin squeezing her hands and passing her her cup.

"Absolutely." she cuddles him tight before taking a sip from her cup. He holds her hand and turns her to sit on his lap as they walk to the couch, he rests his hand gently on her waist.

"I think it fits you better than me." he refers to the shirt, she palms him playfully. "You can keep it"

"As much as I like it is yours Rick"

"I don't care. Now is yours. So you won't miss me too much while I'm on tour"

"Is all set already?"

"Not everything but almost. I'll have the confirmation tomorrow." he says and both remain silent for a moment. There's no point he insists her to go with him again, right? And she doesn't feel like inviting herself. "So what are your plans for this lovely thursday my dear? Anything I can help with?"

"I can handle it myself. You must be busy with the trip" she says finishing her coffee.

"Not really. I took a day off. No writing, no phone calls. Just us. I'm whole yours today." he cuddles her tenderly as they walk to her bedroom. They shower together feeling each other and relaxing until the cold water forces them out. They get their clothes on and tidy up her place a bit more. Her guitar is broken.

" Oh no there goes my chance of listening you play later today." he says with a pout.

"I'm not going to play for you Richard." she resolves.

"Why not? I bet you are good." they keep silent for a moment "Was it a gift?" he asks.

"My parents. When I started college. Mom knew to play. Told me if I play our song we'll be close no matter the distance" she says with a shadow of sadness in her voice.

"That was sweet. I'm sorry it got broken." he says honest while he embraces her tenderly.

"I know. But before you say it there's no point on getting it repaired. The neck is broken into pieces. There's no way it would sound the same" she resolves.

"Yeah is the first I thought. So on which activity are you going to amuse yourself now?" he asks curious.

"I don't know yet. I thought about gardening but my place has no space for it. I already do sports. Gosh I missed jogging again today"

"Is not that late yet. We still can do." he says.

"No, you are not coming. You can't run on a suit." she says matter-of-factly.

"I don't care" he says with a grin earning a glare from her "OK I can rush home and get changed" she still looks at him suspiciously "I just want we have a nice day. I'm curious about your routines, that's all."

"You are not used to do that." she insists. Her tone firm.

"I can get used to. I like challenges." he smiles warmly earning an eye roll from her. He fears he's pissed her. "Sorry if I've pissed you, I didn't mean to" he assumes he's bothered her since she has gone to her bedroom again. He knocks on the door before entering her room.

"I'm not pissed. I just changed to sneakers. C'mon let's go to your place. The loser cooks" she holds his hand as they walk outside. They pick a cab and soon he is running with her on the park. It will be painful afterwards. He is really not used to that and he knows she use to run fast. But he doesn't seem to really care.

They see an advert for a painting course and she joins in. While they walk back home they stop by the grocery and he gets ingredients for the meal he plans to cook for her as he's lost the bet. Two blocks before arriving at her place someone give them flyers for the zoo. He looks like a kid with them.

"There's no way we are going to the zoo Castle. Is late for that. And look at you. You are a grown up behaving like a kid already." she says leaving the bags on her kitchen counter.

"Oh c'mon. It will be fun. When is the last time you've been there? I know you like animals"

"I like pets, not animals. Are you sure you want to see tigers, Rick?" she reminds him.

"We can skip that one. Please. I'm cooking for you" he tries to convince her.

"Because you lost the bet. You can go on your own. I need to finish tidying my home."

"Tell you what if we are done tidying your home before 5 you let me take you to the zoo." he insists and she rolls her eyes but before she answer him back he is dialing his phone. "Pumpkin, are you busy today? I was thinking, remember when we used to go to the zoo? I know you are grown up, but may be we can go there today. Kate is coming too. What about 5 pm? Perfect. See you there then." he hangs up.

"Rick what you've done?"

"It will be fun. I left her a voicemail. C'mon she'll be happy to see you." he says preparing their meal. "Now go relax, read something." he suggests.

"I rather help you. Let me prepare you a drink for your muscles.." she offers and prepares him a sugary drink. As she insist on helping him to cook he asks her to prepare desssert. She slices pieces of fruit to prepare a cake. He finishes the main course, pasta with meatballs before she's done with the cake then he wraps his arms around her from behind her.

"Could use a hand?" he offers kissing her nape making her shiver.

"I'm fine thanks. You can watch the tv or something. I'm not done yet." she motions him out.

He goes to her bedroom and comes back behind her.

"You are too good with that. Let's make it a bit more challenging and fun. OK?" he says blindfolding her.

"What are you up to Rick? That is dangerous when cooking." she defens although she is enjoying the idea.

"No knifes, blade or fire. No danger. Just the ingredients, you and tell me what shall I do?" he caress her back as he speaks softening her slight bitterness..

They mix together the ingredients. He let her try each mixture getting closer to her. Finally he removes the blindfold and they kiss long. He puts the cake in the oven while they have their lunch. Once the cake is cooling on the table they keep tidying her home. He buys new picture frames for her caring to choose her favourite colour aswell as orders an acoustic guitar to be delivered secretely at his place in a couple days.

"I won, I won" he suddenly says as they put the last misplaced book on her bookcase. "Is not 5pm. I won the bet Beckett. You ought to accept my invitation to the park." she looks at him puzzled at his childish moves.

"OK, but cool down. You are freaking me out." she says moving her hands.

"Oh you should had seen when I was a kid. No surprise I got kicked out of every school" he says kissing her.

They get ready and she lead him to her garage. She gives him a helmet and the keys. He looks confused.

"What's that for Kate?" he asks curious.

"I thought you were better with guesses. I'm letting you drive. My bike." she tells him.

"But none won last week bet. She discovered us before we told her." he reminds her.

"I know. Does it mean I can't let you use it?" she explains.

" You let me drive your bike?" he says amazed. "Thank you honey." He pulls her into a hug and they drive to the zoo. He parks the bike at the entrance. He understands why she'd miss the vehicle and rush for a ride at random. That engine feels better than his Ferrari. They meet Alexis and Brian at the entrance of the zoo. While Rick picks their tickets Kate puts their helmet in a locker.

"You came on a bike?" asks the student surprised. "Dad you never drove a bike"

"A little treat. So how's college life going?" asks the detective feeling confident with the young one.

"Great. I've been attending some introductory courses. Not all related to my degree though. We've done a couple together." she says squeezing Brian's hand and blushing when she notices her dad looking at her.

The couples wander around the zoo areas, looking at the reptiles, mammals and other sorts of animals. While Rick talks with the parrots Brian approachs him.

"Sir. I didn't knew you were that funny. Alexis has told me a lot about you. We didn't got to talk a lot the last time, well the first time we meet. I'm respectful with your daughter. She is a great girl. I'm caring her in college. We study together at times. I just wanted to let you know that." says the young sophomore solemnly.

"Sir? How old do you think" he trails off " I know you are good with her. She's told me about you. We talk every day. Do I need to ask you to treat her well or shall I just mention you I'm friend with NY Police?"

"I didn't meant to offend you Sir. Police won't be needed I'm a good guy. I've cared the gardens at The Hamptons every summer since I remember. I work hard to pay my degree. Is true my family comes from money but they didn't spoil us." says the guy carefully.

"Calm down Brian. Is not like I'll run a police record check on you. Call me Richard. Sir makes me old. So you've cared my garden?" the guy nods "Are you from the city?" the guy nods again "Can you advice me where can I find good flowers that are mainly redish?" says the author as they start bonding.

The two ladies aren't too different. They soon find a topic to talk about, her broken guitar. Two hours later they are ready to head home. When Kate picks their helmets she finds an envelope handwritten by Rick.

She gives him a wide smile and drive them back home. They get stuck in traffic.

"So can I know where did you go yesterday?. I'm just curious to know where you let the horse to take you." he asks her on her back.

"I thought you had the horse" she throws back.

"I have whatever you want me to. Seriously where did you go?"

"Why does it matter? I didn't got drunk or anything." she tries to skip the question.

"I know but c'mon you have a good vehicule like that and you have no secret place to go?"

"If I tell you then won't be secret anymore"

"I can be very quiet. Don't you know that?" he tightens his grip on her waist.

"May be if you be a good boy you'll get a glimpse".

They get back home and Kate gets a phone call from Lanie.

"Girl. Where have you been? I've called you all day. You can't let your hands off of writer-boy, can you?" the ME teases not knowing Kate has pushed speaker option by accient. Rick listens sitting next to her.

"Lanie! Rick took me to the zoo with Alexis and Brian." says the detective.

"The zoo. To greet his fellow monkeys I see. Who is Brian?"

"Oh c'mon he is not that bad. Brian is Alexis boyfriend." says the detective.

"Oh the girl has a boyfriend that soon? College guy? Older? Is he cute? Sure he is and experienced too I bet. So double dating already?" she pauses "I don't know how Castle is because you haven't told me yet." says the ME

"Lanie! He is sophomore in criminology. I'm sorry we haven't met lately." Rick rubs her shoulders slowly.

"Sophomore.? And Rick is Ok with that? Yeah girl you owe me a night out." says the ME

"You can have it tonight. I told you you can have a girls night out whenever you want. I'll appoint my mates for a pocker game at home. I trust you won't get her in trouble." says suddenly the author.

"Girl, how haven't you told me Castle is there?" Kate and Rick burst into laughter at the ME reaction. "I'm going to smack you girl! Writer are you treating her well? You harm her I hurt you. I have sharp objects and know how to make it look an accident. Understood?" says the ME

"I'm doing my best. You can ask her long about it later." says the author grinning while he feels Kate's shoulders.

"So are you OK with Alexis?"

"Yeah, she's an adult now. She knows to care herself very well. Or you think I shall go behind her with a shortgun?" says the author.

"So you double date?." the ME ventures to ask directly.

"So what's the matter? She's supportive to us and they've bonded well."

"How's college going? Is she coming back to the morgue?." wonders the ME

"College is great. About the morgue I can't tell you. Ask her and find out. If you'll excuse me I'm going to prepare my pocker game. Good night ladies." says Rick kissing Kate and standing to leave.

"I'll head to your place at 9, is that OK Lanie? Bye" says the detective and hangs up. She grabs Rick's hand and pulls him to a kiss.

"I'll miss you tonight, you know that. Be a good boy." she whisper him.

"I'll miss you too. Have a good night aswell. I know you'll be a good girl. Don't get to sleep too late, and dream of me. If there's any trouble phone me." he kisses her back and leaves.

None of them seem to mind much about having an uniform at her front door. They are respectful to his work but they don't seem to mind if he'll tell Gates about their new status. Because they are keeping it quiet, although by now all their close friends know about them. Still they don't know how Gates might react to that. The fact that Kate hadn't been informed about any advances on her case don't seem to bother her. She is happy spending time with Rick. Because even with her sudden needs of driving far away with her bike, right now they are each other world. But can happiness last that long without a big bump down their road while her snipper is yet on the loose and nobody can prevent the dominoes from keeping falling around her? She yet tries to pretend that this new change doesn't affect her, but it does. A corner of her dark secrets box is open and her ghosts may slowly escape.

Meanwhile Rick is trying to not over-think too much, he just want to keep her safe, make her feels protected and show her how much she means to him. He hadn't push her since her last breakdown. Burke words weren't required but he is thankful for his concern although he still wonders why a therapist would care to call a patients boyfriend all of a sudden. He can't get over the fact that that phone call remind him of Mr Smith. The mystery man of whom he has no news since she came over his place that stormy night.

Rick can consider himself lucky for the fact she is not closing in herself leaving him completelly out, yet he cherish every little smile he elicit from her. He loves the way her eyes bright in those tiny moments that he'll like to prolong for every day. But he knows she is complicated and will try his best to do the best for her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: the usual.**

Kate gets ready for her night out. She feels a bit tired but she hopes she can handle it. She won't take any strong drink. She calls her other friend although they hadn't meet in months. The more the merrier.

Rick phones his writing pals and Ryan and Espo. The writers are busy but for Alex Conrad. He prepares the table and gets some bottles delivered from The Old Haunt.

Kate arrives at Lanie's and soon they stroll to the clubbing area. Both women wearing thin dresses enhancing their silhouettes, making every man to turn to look at them, specially Kate.

At the loft the card mates arrive. First Alex Conrad and later the detectives.

"Welcome men. How's life going?" Rick shakes hands as they go to the table.

"A bit busy. No advance on Kate's break into. Really if the we would be working on it i bet we'd solved it." Ryan says trying to warm the evening. Rick plays his cards to allow the two friends to warm up. He could win easily but he want to try to mend their split. Rick understands their reasons to do what they did. He can't blame them. He run away when he saw he was going to hit wall. He felt like a coward at first, he knew that Kate needed him, but his action said more than anything. It made her get clear his intentions and made her realise the truth, she had to choose and let loose one of the two options. Drinking loosen the men up.

"So how's everything with Beckett? Or are you going to deny it? She phoned us at your summer place. Espo saw you two together few days ago." Ryan says.

"We are fine. Pretty good actually. She had a bit of a problem after the break in. You know, she worried a bit about her snipper being on the loose. But she is fine. No word to Gates about us" he finally warns them.

"Pancakes or no pancakes? And who cook them?" asks Esposito mischievously.

"All I'll say is that I'm a gentleman." says firmly the author.

"Sure no word to Sir. So you made them? All days?" Ryan teases.

"Do you miss sleeping on your couch Ryan?" Rick throws back at the irish.

"Touché. You don't want to talk about it." says the irish.

"You are clever" answers the author.

"Bro, we aren't going to tell to anyone" says the hispanic.

"Sorry to interrupt but could I use some light here? What are you talking about?" says the mentee.

"He and his muse finally, did it." says the hispanic directly. Rick throws him a death glare.

"We are together. Is not like it was a one time thing. We are serious." clarifies the author.

They keep playing and drinking a bit more.

Meanwhile at the club Kate gets a text from her friend. She asks to meet them in a park midway between the club and college. Kate and Lanie go there. Kate shivers when she sees a frat party not too far.

"So how are things with the monkey?" asks the ME

"Great. He is a great man." Kate says blushing.

"How long have I been telling about that? You owe me girl." Kate nods "Is he, as childish as it seems?"

"He is fun. He keeps me enterntained. Cares to make me smile. Makes me feel relaxed." says the detective.

"Aww you sound so cute. And what about, you know? You haven't been with anybody since the doctor"

"It was really good. He was very caring." says the brunette blushing. Then someone greet them.

"Girl! So long. How's everything going? My place is still top tens. You are invited anytime" says the blonde.

"Lanie, that's Maddison. A friend from school. She is my work friend." Kate introduce them.

"So what were you talking about? You've seen the frat over there? Remember the old times?" says Maddie.

"Boys. The girl here finally got herself a boyfriend. A good catch by the way." says the ME

"Do I hear wedding bells already?" says the blonde. Kate looks stunned.

"Not yet. We haven't talked about wedding yet. We are taking it slow." says the detective.

"So how long? " asks the blonde.

"A couple weeks." says the brunette.

"A couple weeks you say? Four years. Don't tell me you don't feel like you are already married to him Kate. The honeymoon never lasts that long" says the ME

"Are you with the writer? So I wasn't wrong when I told you you were hot for him" says the blonde "Is he like the rumours say?" the women give her a look but she continues "Wild, possessive but also tender?"

"What about your boyfriends yourselves? You tell your details I may tell mines" offers the brunette.

"Oh babe I know the perfect way to do so. Vodka." says the blonde bringing them to a pub near The Old Haunt.

On the table only Rick and Espo keep playing. The other pair keeps throwing him questions.

"So how was it? How did it happen? Who started?" asks the mentee.

"She came by to my place and told me. I didn't expect that. We have had a fight early in the day and I broke my partnership with her. She kissed me. I shut the door. I kissed her back and she lead me to my bedroom" Rick says after throwing a death glare at Conrad but then getting a bit hot at the memory.

"Why did you fought? I though she is cool." asks the mentee.

"The last case. She found her snipper. A year ago she got shot in the chest."

"Wait. I can't believe it. You've been burning for her for four years and you care to close the door before kissing her back?" ask Esposito.

"No. She kissed me. She told me her feelings. I hesitated for her words. Then I moved forward to kiss her, we shut the door in the movement. We kissed behind the door. Is what I meant." Rick explains.

"So hot man. What next?" asks Ryan, his eyes bright of curiousty.

"As I said I'm a gentle man."

"Bro, you are sounding like there's some bad secret. Didn't you like it?" asks the hispanic teasing.

"It was wonderful. But if I'd explain you... you won't understand." says the author.

"Why? More steamy than in your novel?" asks the irish.

"Jenny will be glad to know about what happened to your ring at the strip club right?" Rick threatens.

"Are you kidding me? C'mon bro don't make us beg. How was it?" insists the hispanic.

"It was special." says the author.

"Is she as bossy as at work too?" asks the hispanic.

"I thought you all considered her your sister." he throws them a glare "It was just magical."

"Oh no, you are on the honeymoon phase. Now you'll get all mushy? I hope when we'll be back at work you'll two be normal." says the irish. The hispanic throws him a look "I'm sorry for getting your suspended bro. I did what I had to."

"Is ok man. I understand. I still don't like but is ok. Well writer-man here might be all mushy, but Lanie and I are back, so back, you know." says the hispanic proudly.

"What about you Alex? Any lady in your boat?" asks the author to his mentee.

"Yeah. A fellow writer. She told me she knows you. Lee Wax" says the mentee proudly.

"Really? That woman?" say the two detectives at the same time. The mentee nods.

"One hell of a woman." says the hispanic one.

Meanwhile the women have drunk quite many shots already and are a bit tipsy. Maddison is the easier one to get drunk. She is the sort of gossiping drunk. They walk outside to get some fresh air and end at The Old Haunt. They get a table and to their surprise they find there Alexis with some of her friends and Brian playing darts and other games.

"Kate? Lanie? What are you girls doing here?" asks the girl surprised.

"Kill-joy here didn't want to get into a frat party. She was the party beast back at college" says the blonde.

"We had a girls night out. It got a bit out of hand. As you see someone here got drunk." Kate says.

"You need a ride home? Brian can take you." offers the girl.

"Why don't you join us sweetie? I miss hanging with you." says the ME sounding a bit tipsy.

"I miss you too Lans. But I'm with my friends." says the girl and turns to Kate as her friends are tipsy "Don't tell my dad. I hadn't drunk"

"Your secret is safe with me. Don't let a man approach you when you are drunk. Is a wise advice that you better consider, specially now in college." Kate says suddenly serious surprising everyone.

"Thanks. Sorry to be a kill-joy too but you better head back home. Looks like she'll throw up any minute"

"Girl, I'm fine. My friend was about to tell us how she got her wicked way with her boyfriend. Surely all night long. Because she finally has a boyfriend. Naughty Katie. Back at college she never missed a frat party" says the blonde before passing out.

Lanie orders a coffee for them. After the three women sip their drink Kate goes to pay the barman who tells her there's no need because the owner invites them. She swears she's crossed by Maddox again. It has to be a trick from the drinks. It's impossible he'll be there. Brian take them home, leaving Kate and Lanie at Rick's.

Meanwhile at the poker table a woman has joined the game.

"Ladies night. She's winning us all. That's not fair" the men complain.

" Nonsense. Is just a matter of experience" says the lady before pouring herself a whiskey shot.

In that moment the front door swings open and the four enter the room. Rick peeks from his office.

"Alexis? What are you doing here?" says the father surprised.

"Family reunion. How cute" says the hispanic from the office.

"We were going out and we found Kate and her friends having a drink. Her friend passed out. Kate is fine." says the girl as the writer approaches them cuddling them. "She is not drunk." says the sophomore.

"Thank you Brian." the men shake hands. "You up for poker?" Rick offers.

"Dad!" the girl warns the author.

"What's the matter? Is poker night. The girls are back safe from their night out. You are home. Come on join us" he motions them to his office. They greet each other.

"Alex? Why are you here?" Kate says startled.

"Mr Castle invited me. He's revising my second novel detective" says the mentee standing in devotion.

"Guess who's he dating? Lee Wax, remember her?" says the author to Kate.

Soon they all enjoy the game. Kate and Rick loosen up and she ends sat on his lap, his elbows resting carefully on the table while he keeps playing. They feel home. Not too late in the night the group leaves the house. Martha goes to sleep upstairs, Alexis and Brian go back to The Old Haunt. Kate goes to his bedroom preparing herself to sleep while he cleans his office. Soon he joins her in bed.

"Rick I just had some whiskey. I didn't got drunk, not even tipsy. It was all Maddison' fault, but I'm sober" she defends vaguely.

"I said nothing. I told you I trust you'll be a good girl." he says looking at her softly.

"Aren't you mad at me?" she tentativelly asks him.

"Why would I?" she shudders her shoulders "I have no reason to ever be mad with you Kate." he caress her hand making her smile. "So had a good night? Gossip much?" he asks her playfully.

"Maddie got drunk. She asked how I got my wicked way with you all those last nights. In front of Alexis. So embarrassing. " she confesses in embarrassement and worry.

"She did?" he laughs. She looks at him puzzled. "Did you answer her?"

"Hell No. Alexis was there." she cuts.

"If she wouldn't had been, would you had answered?" he insists.

"No. Alexis was there." she insists.

"What's the matter with that? She's not a kid anymore. If you were drinking I bet she was too. She wouldn't remember next day." he says.

"Are you serious? Would you talk about that in front of your daugther Richard?" she asks him puzzled.

"No." he turns solemn. "But I would keep being playful. What's the matter? Is a girls night out. Time to loosen up. Have fun. Joke." he tries to make her understand. "Well to be fair. They asked me and I've been a gentleman." he says serious again.

"Thank you. I didn't say a word too. Is just our business." she kiss him tenderly.

"So good gossping about them? Lanie and Espo are back?" he asks curious.

"What do you think? They showed up at my place together." she explains and then feels his fingers trailing a line along her leg, up to her thigh.

"Rick, we are not alone" she stops grabbing his hand.

"Mother sleeps like a log after all she's drunk tonight." he tells her and wiggle his eyebrows.

His hands venture to explore her legs again, this time under her lacy nightgown. His hands soon meet with the heat of her core and rubs her tender flesh making her moan and close her eyes. For some reason she doesn't seem as relaxed as other times. He kiss her thighs while keeps rubbing. When his mouth hovers over her lips and she can feel his warm breath approaching. She suddenly opens her eyes shouting.

"I've seen him. At your pub. I've seen Maddox" she warns him.

"Are you sure? May you just thought you did. The whiskey tricked you" he tells her startled. But she looks too worried to not be true so he calls the precint and warn them. They'll check his pub the next days.

He cuddles her warmly to let her relax. She still feels tense so he goes for a massage, using oils that she grabs from her nightstand. Yes she has a side on the bed and some personal items in his room already.

"Another envelope? When can I see what's all the mystery about them?" she asks waving the envelope.

"In the right time my lady. Now we better try to get some sleep. Are you relaxed?" he asks her and she nods

He wraps her in a warm cuddle and they fall sleep. Despite her worries about Maddox she feels safe by his side, despite the need she still has to be independent she can't be far from him for too long. The tour will be a big proof for them. Will they make it before she goes back on duty if she finally agrees to? What will Gate do about them now that they are together?


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: the usual.**

Almost two weeks together. Who would have guessed? They haven't fought yet. None has thought of breaking up. Things are fine. Great in fact. They are perfect together. No lies, no secrets. Right?

Last night gestures weren't missed by the young in the family. The fact that Kate features somber at the mention of college parties, frat houses and the fact she randomly told Alexis to be careful with drinking and guys. What was that about? There's no point in that. Alexis doesn't drink, as far as her father knows. And she has a boyfriend now. That's pointless. The girl thinks it was due to the drinks the brunette had, but still it made her worry.

On his side, Rick is giving her time and space, as much as he can because if it would depend on him they'll hide in his bedroom for the whole summer, just emerging from time to time to have some food. So far he is behaving. True he's held back the first week as much as he could for many reasons, some he can't even eleborate. He wishes he could convince her to accompany him to that short tour that Gina and Paula have come up with out of the blue. He doesn't want to pressure her. He knows until there's news regarding the snipper she won't relax properly. He is going to miss her greately while he is away. She will too. He will miss the little gestures she does for him. Yes he knows that, the way she combs her hair just for him, the way she put on her parfum so only he can have a glimpse at her scent since he approaches her.

They enjoyed cooking together, walking together. They've spent almost all their day together since that night when she knocked on his door. Oh what a night. Can it be better than that?

A long time waited gift that both unwrapped ritually slow, worshiping, relishing on every second of it. Diving into each other soul as they commit to each other wordlessly. Because their breathy moans can't count as spoken promises, right? The way they caressed each other, soft yet trailing a burn path to each other skin. The way they looked into each other eyes when they finally sealed their bodies into one, fusing their skin. So tender and yet so firm.

No regrets of that night and the ones after that. He held back his wild desires he once has of her, a lustful impulse he's learnt to tame, which has allowed him to love her properly. He comfort her with any little gesture and he just hopes for a smile, a smile that illuminates the room, he feels fully payed back with that, honestly he doesn't expect anything else but see her fully happy. And he's got it plenty those days. She keeps playful, but when she thinks of the snipper. How could he help her? Mr Smith hadn't phone him to tell any news. According to his words if she stops she is safe and so far she's off the police so they shall be safe for the time being, right? But what will happen when she be back on duty? The haven't talked about it again. He blindly promised he will support her. She'll get a job that's for sure. She won't let him spoil her, she is an independent, she won't like to be covered fully by him, ecomony-wise. Right? He wouldn't mind to spoil her.

In the times they've been separated, very few, he's still thought of her. He cared to organize and type her old diary. Oh and there's this special thing of them, when they gather on the laptop and co-write those scenes. He wonders if all she types there is her imagination or she is just trying to leave him breathless. If they've played it he surely will end with no air for days. He wouldn't mind.

She rests peacefully on his arms. No sign of her internal struggle those days. She wishes to tell him, be more clear but she can't because she can't let herself to believe it. Is one of her bad traits, convince herself of the opposite she really wants. She tried to convince herself that she had no feelings towards him but hate. Lie, a lie that kept her sane all those years back. But now is different, they promised to be honest. She ought to tell him no matter what he thinks after that. He shouldn't judge. None is going to judge each other past. She can trust his word, she does but still telling him will be hard and now is not the right moment when he is about to leave to another state for almost two weeks. She has to do something. She still has some money saved, she can surprise him. And she has to decide about her jobless situation. She truly doesn't care at the moment about her future in the force. She's done plenty good so she feels peaceful with her task there still is what she's done for years now. What else can she do?

She can feel his warm breath on her nape which gives her shivers through her spine when she is consscious of the feeling. She carefully turns her head to look at him. He is smiling, yet asleep. She turns to sleep and in that momet she can feel his lips brushing her shoulder blades. He is kissing her as he holds tight her body.

As she feels him stirring on her back she turns and gets on top of him kissing him all over. A surprise for both them. She's not normally that effusive in the mornings. He doesn't care much of the reason why and let her do at her will. Why would he complain?

"Good morning prince charming" she whisper him while she lets her hand roam his chest. He smiles and she encourages to remove his pajama top. She wonders if she'd like him more casual. True his seriousness wearing suits contrasts with his childish spirit. Her lips keep exploring his slowly bare body as his breath accelerates the sooner she approaches to his waistband. Soon his boxers rest next to his top. But he feels her so close, so warm around him. Their ragged breath and gasps fill his room quickening on every second while her lips don't spend a second off his. The total opposite of their other kissless session not long ago. They rest cuddled few minutes allowing their breath to even before his phone buzzes bursting their cloud.

"Morning Paula. Any news?" he greets as he ID the caller. Kate goes to get a shower.

His agent inform him that he will go to California for the tour. Everything is set, she'll send him an email explaining his exact route. She asked in wonder if his lady is finally coming and sounds puzzled when he confirmed she isn't. To her view, she must be just another scratch in his bedpost after all.

Kate comes back into the room all wrapped in a big towel. He meets her midway wrapping his arms around.

"Good morning, morning lady. That was very good" he whispers her in his bedroom voice making her smile.

"Yeah I know. So any news from your agent?"she asks picking her clothes for the day.

"I much prefer your morning call. May be I didn't got what you said clearly. Can I hear it again?" he teases.

"I bet you do. But is time to get ready. Is almost weekend. Remember you were going to come with me" she deliberatelly stop briefly, his eyes darkening as his eyebrows wiggle "to visit my dad?" he pouts as she smiles.

"You are evil. Bringing up your dad when you re so clotheless." he says stealing her clothes.

"Like you don't love it." she says approaching to pick the clothes but he hides them again "C'mon don't be a child and pass me the clothes" he twists to not allow her to get it.

"No, no." he runs in the room, she chasing him.

"Rick I'm not going to give you an encore performance of this morning because that was a one time thing" she warns him.

"Your mind is so on the gutter my lady." he stops in front of her "What can I do to experience such art more times? I'll be a great boy I promise" he looks at her with innocence eyes.

"So you think you are a kid?" she teases him back, trying to distract him to pick the clothes. She moves forward and he stops her holding her wrist gently.

"Don't be tricky. A kiss for a piece. You want your clothes. Give me a kiss. You haven't kiss me enough this morning I think" she obeys and start kissing him. The last piece, he holds her to prolong their touch. His hands roaming on her back, she gasping.

"You sure don't want an encore? Your skin thinks different." he teases, his lips brushing hers.

"I'm sure. We have things to do. At least I do." she insists.

"What are your plans for today, my lady?" he asks her smiling.

"Sorry to burst your bubble but I'd rather have a morning on my own, alone. You'll be busy with your tour duties. Where are you finally going to?" she answers getitng her clothes on.

"Sure, no problem. I'm going to California. I'd love you come with me. We had a great time in LA" he says.

"Thanks, but I need to think about my future and you'll be busy with your duties"

"We can think about it together." he holds her by her waist approaching their bodies.

"Thanks for your offer, but I want to see how I deal with myself in the city."

"OK. Just two petitions before we part for the day. Put this on" he says raising a pale violet low-cut thin top he bought her while in The Hamptons. She rolls her eyes and obeys. She catches him staring at her breasts while she changes earning himself a palm from her. "Don't make plans for the evening" he says.

They have breakfast together. As often they brew coffee together. This time she serves them.

"For the 100 I owe you" she says passing him his cup.

"Thank you darling. You sure you don't want my company this morning?" he asks her sipping his coffee.

"Yeah. By the way, why did you place my clothes next to that jacket in your closet? I hadn't seen you wearing that jacket in a while" she asks while having her waffle.

"You don't remember that jacket?" she shakes her head "Is the one that wrapped your naked body when your apartment exploded."

"Seriously? You kept it?" he nods "You wore it again?" he shakes his head. "Why?"

"I just told you. It wrapped you." he says matter-of-factly.

"I see, I didn't thought you'd be a fetish keeper." she teases him.

"Oh no. No funny business has happened with the jacket, I swear." he sounds unconvincing. She gives him a disgust look.

"Well I also keep separately the tshirt I was wearing the stormy night. If you want to keep it." he answers her. "What you do with it is your business not mine. But I'll be glad to know it wraps you in the night while I'm away" he says wrapping her in a warm embrace.

"I'll think about it. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going home. See you later. Have a great day" she says before kissing him deep and leaving to her place.

Rick enterntains himself organizing the next days. He has five days before arriving to California for the tour. He is a bit down for the fact she hadn't agree to go with him. May be he can change her mind in those remaining days. May be a trick from the magic shop will do.

He keeps revising her diary and finds new pages. How come he hadn't notice them before? She's written since they are together. She described her thoughts on their first time. He smiles and even shivers when he reads it. But soon his mushy spirit gets dark as she tells about her fight in the roof and the break into her aparment. How come Ryan has yet no clues about that?

He makes her get a new envelope, the third, delivered to her home.

Meanwhile she gets a phone call from the social services. They inform her that the little 4 years old they found missing on the beach their last night at The Hamptons a week ago hasn't been reported missing by any parent. They managed to locate his family. They waice the child's custody. He will be send to a foster care in the next weeks.

Kate can't help but feel sorry for the child. He looked so convinced that she was his mother when they firstly met. And he looked so like them. He could pass as their own child. She wonders what she could do to help the kid. Would she be allowed to visit the kid? She phones the assigned center to know the visit timetable.

The kid has no blame of being left alone in the world. What can parents be thinking to leave a child behind?

Nobody is anybody to judge one another she tries to convince herself.

She needs a break. After jogging and feeling frustated arriving home to notice she has no guitar to play and relax herself she picks her keys and let the roads get her lost past the city. She arrives at the same place she met the other young teenager. There he is with a chess board on a table.

"Good friday. You came. Want to play?" says the teenager. His cousin near him.

"Yeah, sure. You care to explain me first." Kate wants to be kind.

The teen explains her the game. He amuses in the fact that someone is treating him nicely. He is slow, but good in logic and maths. He's been bullied in school that's why his cousin homeschool him since he has his custody. Kate make good friendship with the two men and didn't notice is midday. The teen insist on inviting her for lunch and they go to a diner. The kid gives her his phone and she goes back home. When she opens the door she is welcomed by the third envelope sent by her boyfriend. She picks it and place it with the others. She can't help but smile at the thought. What all those envelopes mean?

Sure they do the trick, thinking about their content makes her forget about her problems.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: the usual. **This one is shorter and the final part wasn't planned.

Is past afternoon and Kate wonders if Rick has forgotten about his warning about not making any plans for the evening on her own. She resists the temptation to open the envelopes but still wonders what are those about. A bunch of gift certificates may be. Really, after all the attention he pays her he won't know what else she'd like? Some exclusive short story he's written just for her? No. To be honest they've only typed their co-story together or he's typed her diary. She hadn't seen him writing any more Nikki Heat.

She could phone some friend to talk while she waits any news from him. Maddie is not able because is working and after the drunk moment it won't be pleasant to talk about the embarrassement, although for once is not Kate who will be pointed at. Lanie, shall be working too. And better be safe from the gossiping. In that moment Kate reflects even more, about her work. She has no clue about what to do. Does Gates know about her and Castle? What she'll say about it? Why should she care if she said she resigned? Kate is not conscious of her sudden seriousness when she met Alexis at the pub. She warned her. She doesn't remember well why. Does she not remember her wild college parties? After her mother was killed while she was yet in college she became the party girl. She used to spend most of the time licking her own wounds alone in her dorm. But she soon turned to the opposite extreme and tried to socialize in the nights. She'd just get back to her dorm the morning after. She got quite popular among the guys. All she remember is she drunk to forget. That's why at the begin when her father became an acoholic she didn't had the strenght, the moral string to deal with his problem, because at some point she didn't knew how to deal with the loss of her mother herself. Who knows the right way to deal with that?

The buzzinng of her phone startles her, drifting her off her own thoughts.

"Beckett? You all right? We got news about your case. The break in." says the irish.

"Ryan. Hi. What's new?" she asks yet a bit dreamy.

"Well we didn't manage to find any prints. But some papers from your case were found trashed in a bin five blocks away yours. We found prints there, but there aren't in the database. From interviewing your neigbours nobody know what happened since you left. So sadly we are yet stuck. But we'll catch him. Well that's all I can update you with" the irish man hesitates.

"Anything else I shall know? If I weren't a victim." she ventures to ask.

"Kate, honestly I can't tell you much more now. I'll follow any lead. It'll be solved before you be back" he pauses "Because you'll be back, right?"

"I'm yet pondering that Kevin. I just need time. Meanwhile do your work. I'll see you" she pauses "Do you have any chance of asking in missing people department? Has a kid been reported missing in The Hamptons?"

"What are you upto Kate? Is it related to your case?" the irish asks concerned.

"Oh no. Is just, when I was in The Hamptons we found a kid, we brought him to the police. They phoned me earlier today. Nobody has reported the kid to be missing. I find it quite odd." she says honestly.

"Beckett if you'd work in that department you'd seen that plenty of times already. Is hard to believe but there's people that do leave their kids at random, mostly because they can't afford the cost of caring them. Well, take care. See you soon boss." says the irish.

Kate thinks for a moment. Is he encouraging her to get back at work? Like if that would depend on Kate's hands. She stares at her hands. No trace of two weeks ago when she scratched her fingers when she held on the building roof. No bruises on her body aswell.

She places her phone on her coffee table before she picks a book to read and then her phone rang. Is a reminder of her painting course, it starts exactly tomorrow. It will be fun. Will grant her some time alone, to think and at the same time express herself. She smiles as she remembers the time she told him about her painting experience, when she was a model. She can't help but think of him and smile. It hadn't happened to her in a while. She feels like a teenager, everything is so exciting despite her not so young age and not so few experience in the matter. Can she consider she has experience? She has dated quite some men but didn't manage to make it last. Was due to her wall, that is true but a little bit inside her, she fears will happen the same with Rick. That'swhy she feels trapped. She needs to tell him but she can't let herself to. She fears she'll spook him. Who helds a secret for over ten years as she does?

In that moment her phone buzzes again.

_Pick you at 7. Just a casual and quiet evening. Xoxo._

It means she just has two hours to get ready. Well what's the rush if he says is casual? Still she wants to be nice for him. So she gets a bubble bath with cherry scent allowing it soften her body. He is going to go crazy as he notices it. Because he will notice. She gets on a slim pale violet silk dress with a low-cut v neck and a light green cardigan. She curls her hair the way she knows he likes.

At said time she hears a knock on the door. There he stands with a wide grin on his face. He's wearing a pair of jeans, stripped blue polo shirt and a brown jacket.

"I missed you dearly" he says as he enters in crashing his lips sweetly to hers. "But I'm almost done with your diary. Did anything exciting other than think of me today?" he smirks and she palms his chest.

"I missed you too. I've been busy running errands. Ryan updated me about my case. No idea who is behind" she says as she picks her cardigan and her bag.

"They are good, they will catch him." he gently squeezes her shoulder. "Ready for a lovely night my lady?" he offers her his arm and she laces hers. He walks her outside to seat in his Ferrari.

"Is that quiet? We are going to be spotted" she huffs.

"Shall we hide? Is just my car." she still rolls her eyes "You can drive" he offers.

"Seriously are going to bring Venom now?" she says bitterly.

"What's wrong with you tonight? Look if you rather do something else, I'm OK" he tries to sound calm as he places his keys near the gear.

"You are right" she pauses "I'm sorry, is just I'm a bit stressed. I thought they'll have catch him already."

"I know. They are good, yet you are the finest. You would had catch him already. Now let's relax. Moving on subjetc. Is friday, soon two weeks." he sweetly says as he drives them to the cinema.

"You keep count?" she asks surprised on their first stop.

"Yeah. Shouldn't I? I pay attention to any detail about you. Us is part of you too, right?" he smiles softly.

He parks and they get to the cinema. He leads her gently picking a mix of sweets together. She can't believe he is truly that childish. Picking a wide variety of candies along with a popcorn box. They watch an animation movie. His criteria was fun to watch, and she only could agreee before giggling.

He explains her extensivelly about the techniques used to make the effects. She can see how amazed he is just by explaining those things. She feels geeky impaired but enjoys listening him. Would it be a disappointment if she asks him every two words he says, right?

When they are heading out he gets a text from Martha. She invites them over to a play. Martha is friend of the writer. Friend or more than friend, she never explained that in full details and Rick rather not know that.

"You tired?" she shooks her head "Mom suggest we meet her at the theatre" Rick explains.

"That's nice. I didn't knew she was on a play at the moment. Which one?" asks the brunette.

"She is attending, not acting. Is at the main one in Broadway" she lace her arm and they get in the car.

Soon they are arriving at the venue. To their surprise there's press at the place since is the opening of the play.

"I swear I didn't knew that" Rick stops before they approach closer to the photographers, looking into her eyes. He fears she thinks he planned that. That he just wants to brag about her chick. He does, but he is more chivalrous now. He won't tell unless she allows him. He just doesn't want to piss her.

"Well I don't care if the press is here, your mother has invited us to a play. That's why we are here. That's all." she resolves squeezing his hand softly to reassure him. They walk the carpet and make their entrance to the building. They briefly stopped to pose for the press as the media recognize the author. They asked him, but he was too nervous to say a word. They are ushered to sit near Martha. Oh not much fun can be done in the dark of the place next to the red-hair woman.

The women chat a bit relaxing into a random conversation about her career. The couple just allow themselves to hold hands, or brush their fingers. He ventures to rest his hand on her knee but she throws him a look and he almost jumps off his seat. The brunette doesn't want to cause bad impression to her mother-in-law. Wait Kate, stop that thought. You are not married to that man. Yet. Suddenly she wonders what her mother would think of him. She'd like him, but would she approve of him being that touchy in front of her?

When the show is over, they get ready to leave but Martha ask them to pick her home so they wait while she involves herself in random talkings. Rick and Kate get a quiet spot downstairs. Like teenagers they steal kisses to one another while they wait to be allowed to get back home.

"You know how nicely you smell tonight my dear? So hard to not to do this upstairs" says the author allowing himself to explore along her neck. He loves her cherry scent and she knows it.

"Ricky? Man summer is doing you well, I can see" says a strong voice. Rick freezes and turns.

"Mayor. What a pleasure seeing you here." says the author shaking hands.

"Good to see you too detective. When are you going back?" the major asks her.

"Excuse me?" Kate asks confused.

"The commisioner told. Are you going back to the force right? Will affect Nikki Heat? " asks the big fish.

"I'm thinking on it. Sir, with all due respect is me who chooses. I did something wrong. I need to reflect on that. I may make big change." she resolves.

"Well Nikki is yet on. I won't kill her off. Is far more enterntaining than Storm was. Much less predictable. If you'll excuse us. Mom waits for a drive home. Take care." says the author leading the women back to his car. Before cuddling Kate in his bed he passes her another envelope, the fourth.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: the usual.** _Those chapters are shorter than the previous ones. Currently I'm thinking about the plot for the next story. Yeah there will be another story after that one. Just two more chapters before this one finishes. Thanks for your feedback and subscribing to this one. The guitar I mention is the one i firstly played myself, no intention on promoting any particular brand._

Saturday morning she awakes because of the music coming from his living room. She opens her eyes and needs a minute to locate herself. Then the smell of pancakes and honey fills the room as Rick enters with a tray bringing her breakfast.

"Good morning honey. I did it the way you like it. With a bit of honey on the top." he grins setting the tray.

"Thank you. When did you woke up?" she asks while she starts her meal.

"Oh, I got a text from mom. She is out for the day. Which means we have the loft for us alone" he smirks sitting beside her and caressing her bare thigh.

"Are you yet up for something special" she begins teasing him, he nods vehemently wearing a wide smile "Like visiting my dad?" she finishes her question.

"Evil woman." he stares at her dropping his hand to the sheet.

"Do you think that is evil? You hardly know me then" she tries to sound determined. He tickles her. She burst into laughter and curls on the bed. He ends kissing her while brushinng her hair. The music sounds more loud as metal music is played.

"Are you a metalheader Rick?" she asks puzzled.

"You don't like? 80's was awesome." he says with bright eyes remembering good times.

"Is just, I didn't thought you were the type." she says seriously.

"I think the things you yet don't know about me may fill a book, my lady." he kisses her "one I'll be glad we write together" he caress her back as he lays next to her looking into her eyes.

"So what are your plans for the day?" she asks him breaking their long soft kiss.

"Uhm. Not much. I was thinking we could do a bit more of " he stops as he notices her glare "that past night. Go out, relax. I have no problem with staying in. I'm sure we can find many ways to enterntain ourselves" he wiggles his brows.

"Is there any moment a day when your mind is not on the gutter?" she asks rolling her eyes.

"Like you are so innocent." he helps her stand and they head to the bathroom. Before they enter a well known piece by Placebo sounds on the living room. She frozes and excuses weakly to shower alone. He picks the tray and goes back to the living room to prepare the videogame for later. She shuts the door and sits on the floor. She cries. That's overwhelming her. She wish she could shout, smash something. She doesn't know how to tell him. She tries to ignore the mistakes of her past but seems it is chasing her.

Half an hour later she enters the living room to find him playing Guitar Hero. Currently an Eric Clapton tune.

"Everything OK?" he asks her in concern.

"Yeah, everything is all right. So your plan for the day is to play guitar? Rick that doesn't qualify you as a player. Are you aware, right?" she tells him after seeing his rock star pose.

"Well that can be fixed then. Close your eyes. Please" she obeys and he places a real guitar on her hands.

"Oh my God Castle. Do you own a real guitar? Is so light. Do you play?" she says surprised while she holds a Mirage.

"Castle? I do own one myself. Don't tell Alexis but when I was in college I was in a band." he shyly say.

"Really? Were you good?" she asks with a smirk.

"I ended writing crime. What do you think?" he answers.

"So you were in the band to attract the chicks?" she asks teasing him.

"You said so, not me." he throws back earning a palm on his chest. "So what do you think? You like it? Wanna play?" he asks getting himself an acoustic one.

She wants to try the truth of his words and starts with a lick.

"Really Kate? That's all you come up with? A lick?" he says as he plays a riff.

They play several bits of different tunes of their youth, and again she frozes when early 00's hits come up.

Luckily her phone sounds at the same time. Is her dad. He excuses he can't meet them this weekend.

"Dad is busy. Is visiting a friend today. So, what else can we do today?" she asks thinking.

"We'll see him another weekend. We could visit Alexis. I'll check if she is busy aswell." he goes to his bedroom to quietly call her daugther. They set a meet-up after lunch at the campus.

"Are you busy after lunch? Alexis is free then. Want we meet at lunch honey?" he asks her in a whisper as he embraces her from behind. She fan feel the warmth of his chest on her back and is tempted to spun and take him then and there but she is yet shy. Really she feels guilty for not telling him her biggest secret ever. The one she remembers from time to time, between her worries for the snipper and her mom murder, it's been the reason that kept her awake at random.

"We can do. Now if you'll excuse me. I have painting class. I'll see you later." she turns and kiss him.

"OK. I will pick you up after class. I love you. Have fun." he answers.

While she is in class she is zoned out. She is in class, attending the explanations but her mind is elsewhere. She reflects upon her jobless situation and the scar of her snipper. Does she really wants to leave the force? What will happen with Rick if she does? Why haven't they discuss that already? She misses the reward of helping the victims, to know the truth no matter what. If she quits, they will lose that. And truth be told she is sure if she would be in the force right now her case will be solved. That won't be a vendetta, just a quest to know the truth. Can she bear to know the truth behind all that? Is obvious the whole thing is bigger than an iceberg. She can just hope to know the part that involves her and move on. A tiny bit of her mind still wonders how can she be with Rick knowing he contacted that mystety man that stroke a deal to protect her. Why nobody cares to tell her the truth?

Once the class is finished she phones Rick and they meet in the park. They go to Remy's to get a burger.

He is thoughtful and caring as always but there's something else she can't word properly.

"Is everything OK? You were quiet in the car" he asks her.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't be? We are together, is summer." she quickly say.

"You seem distracted. You know you can share your worries with me, right?" he softly say.

"I know and I do. I told you I was worried because of the break into, the snipper. But I'm happy we are together. I'm happy for the days we've spent." she brushes his fingers.

"But? I can sense a but honey" he starts. She silently look at him and then at her dish. "Kate I won't tell anyone. I just want you feel comfortable with me. Don't you trust me?" he asks.

"I do, more than anyone else Rick."

"Then what's wrong? You were picky yesterday. What am I doing wrong? I sense you are not fully relaxed. What is it? You fear I'll cheat on you? You fear we'll be caught and make page 6?" he asks her.

"Is nothing."

"You need some time alone? I'm changing your routine? Need a drive somewhere?" she silently try to answer him, while tears fill her eyes. She has messed this up.

"I'm OK. We are fine." she says looking at her dish.

"Look into my eyes and answer me." she obeys "Why did you froze this morning? I noticed. Twice. And you are yet absent. I know I've surprised you with my music likes but that doesn't explain your behaviour. If is for the guitar is fine. I want you to keep it. I know is an expensive one but I don't care. I want you to be happy and I want to be who makes yous happy." she shyly smile at him. "Do you need to see your therapist?" he offers.

"No. I'm fine. I don't need to." her mind finally lands on the ground "Is it because I went for a drive the other day Richard?" she throws back. She doubts she should tell him about Dennis.

"I just told you why. You froze twice today. When some music of your time was playing. Why is that?"

"Bad memories of college. Were from the time my mom got murdered." she slightly lie.

"I – I understand. I'm sorry I've pressed you." he hugs her "But couldn't you had told me?"

"I know. I'm to blame too." she looks into his eyes "Rick I want you to know I will never run away from you, OK. Is the only thing I clearly know now. I'm yet jobless, trying to get into a productive new schedule. Pondering if going back or start some new path job-wise. All I can be sure is I want to be with you, no matter what. So don't think I'm hiding. I'm not, I just need my space from time to time." she assures him. He nods.

"Well I can just think of a proper way to apology." he holds her hand and drive them to the magic shop.

They buy different tricks and prank items. They plan on surprise Alexis with those. On the way to the campus they find out a circus is on the city and since Alexis has told them to meet a couple hours later than initally they go there.

They laugh and relax seeing the tricks the animals do aswell as the clown pranks. Rick is chosen to do a trick with one of them and he beats the clown with the trick earning an applause from the audience.

"Oh how can you do it?" she whisper him as he sits next to her again.

"Do what? C'mon you know tricks too." he winks "More than with ice-cubes I bet" she plams his chest.

"I meant, how can you hide your huge ego in your tiny frame?" she throws at him.

"Oh lady. You are earning a wicked punishment tonight." he leans to whisper "And we are home alone"

"I'm on fully" she leans as his eyes go wide feeling her hand on his lap "for a poker game"


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: the usual, I own nothing.**

_Short one again. That story is near to it's end. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did. My initial idea was to focus on the diary but it developed differently. Sorry if that was a disappointment. _

They finally meet the young red-hair. Brian is busy on a course. She updates them about her choice for next year. She is planning her schedule. The couple notice she is well known in the campus. Every student seem to know her, as they all greet her cheerfully. Is the girl developing a double life, good student in the morning party beast at night? Normally a good student isn't that popular. Kate leave them alone for a bit as Alexis orders her father to bring her some items on his next visit.

"So are you two fine?" the young one asks carefully.

"Yeah Pumpkin, why wouldn't we?" he assures her squeezing her hand. "She makes me happy."

"I know that. Listen dad I don't want to burden you. I'm not jealous or anything, but the other night when we brought her home. She told me something that has been worrying me since then." the young one begins.

"Don't worry, she was a bit tipsy. I hope it wasn't embarrassing" he says.

"I don't think it was just due to alcohol. She looked serious when she spoke. Does anything happened to her while in college? At a party may be?"

"We haven't talk much about that. Though she's been a bit bothered since then. She blamed it to the snipper, but today was something else. This morning when we woke up, I was playing music, she was relaxing" the girl gives him a look "Not what you are thinking. Well, she froze to some music. She told me that that remind her of college time, when her mom was murdered."

"Oh sorry. I didn't meant to." she doesn't know what to say. "She was very attached to her, right?"

"Apparently a lot. I can understand. I just wish she'd trust me to open up fully. She is working on it."

"She'll do. Just be patient. She is a great woman and does you good." she hugs her father and Kate comes back. They have dinner together at a pub in front a frat house. Kate seems in a bit of discomfort. Is getting late and the couple say their goodbyes to go back home. Just when they are hugging the girl in the gardens Kate squeezes Rick's hand tightly.

"Auch. What happens?" he whisper her. She is absent looking at some woods.

"He is there Castle. The snipper is there." Kate says while her eyes are absent. Rick can't notice her focusing on any particular point. He looks at the woods and can't see anybody there. There's a shadow, he is sure from some branch, but nobody there. That feels strange, she looks really in fear.

"There's nobody there. Want me to check?" he tells her but she is yet frozen. He can see true fear in her eyes. It remind him of Jonathan Harker when he met Dracula on the streets. "C'mon let's go home, you are tired."

Rick drives them back home. Their evening plan is almost forgotten. Thankfully the only surprise he has managed to arrange will fit their current state. He knows she is complicated, but still he loves her and wants she knows his feelings for her. He truly wish she'll open to him fully. He knows it'll bring tears. But water purifies, right?

As they enter her appartment she is welcomed by a room filled with her favourite reddish flowers, a vase on every corner.

"Did you do this?" she asks him as she approaches one of the vases to smell a rose.

"Yeah. I know you like them." he says smiling.

"I haven't told you" she answers confused.

"No need to. I can read you." he caress her shoulder "I've finished your diary"

"You've finished?" she asks in concern.

"Yeah. I've read it fully. I learnt a lot about you. That is not taking advantage, I won't do that. I just know you've been distressed those days back. I just wanted to help my bit to ease your worries." he gently kiss her neck. She smiles at his gesture.

"You've read everything?" she asks again.

"Yes. It will remain a secret between you and me." he wraps his arms around her.

"Even the new pages?" she asks worriedly.

"Not yet. Want to type those yourself?" he lies, he's read the last entries, but he can't understand them yet.

"If you don't mind. You've done all the work. You better organize your tour now." she answers a bit sad.

"I'll miss you too. Take this. I hope it'll make it more bearable" he hands her an envelope, the sixth.

"I see why are those for. I wish we could share them instead" she says picking it.

"We will do. Your happiness is my happiness even when I can't see your smiling." He kisses her leading them silently to her bedroom.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: the usual.**

_So here ends this story. Quite a bombshell end. Anyone saw that coming? See you in the next story._

He had planned for a quiet night with her, to bring some closeness which he knew she needed. Plus was their two weeks anniversary and he expected some sort of celebration, even if just privatelly.

They fall asleep due to tiredness. Or they pretend to sleep. Once again their minds don't rest. He worries for her, and she struggles to tell him. She ought to before he goes on tour.

He's seen her panic thinking she's seen her snipper at her daugther campus. He worries for her mind and is considering phoning her therapist. He's read her last entries and don't help a matter to understand her situation. She talks about the past, so cryptically that he can't solve the mystery. He feels frustrated.

They wake up to the sound of their alarms.

"Don't wake up yet. Is sunday." he says cuddling her tight.

"OK, but talk to me. What are those envelopes for?" she asks him.

"You really want to know now?" she nods "OK pick one. I'll pick another one." he offers her the seven pieces. They pick one each. "Those were meant for just you while I'll be on tour."

She opens and shows the card from hers.

"Full body massage?" she says in wonder.

"Yeah. Who doesn't like that? Your bruises are gone. C'mon let me do" he says motioning her to lay on the bed.

"Are you going to give it to me? Now?" she says confused.

"The idea was you get it at a spa, but since I'm here and is our two weeks anniversary, why not?" he says picking scented oils she has on her bathroom. He places them on her nightstand and removes her pajama slowly kissing her skin until she is bare. He gently lays her back on the bed and start to do his magic with his fingers. She soon relaxes as he rubs her shoulders, and her spine. He massages her body in a pattern of circles, variating the pressure. He can hear a moan from her sweet lips.

"You like?" he asks, and she nods.

"Your fingers are talented" she says with her eyes closed. He rolls her and proceeds to do the same to her front. He tries to focus on the tasks and not let the feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips to drive him wild. He can't help it but getting aroused as he does her breast seeing her peaks hardening. She lays her hand on his thigh.

"Your turn. No funny business. We'll see what my envelope has to offer"

"Are all those naughty?" she smirks.

"Not all, but some." he finishes and lays on her side looking at her bare body. She pass him the envelope.

"Oh, a good one. Truth or dare. You game?" he tells her trying to ignore his arousal.

"You know I am." she says as her hand draws from his knee to his thigh again.

"Kate" he breaths her name as a warning.

"Just making the game more interesting" she caress his belly as he takes a sharp breath she stops. "Truth. You start"

"OK." he clears his throat "How were you in college?" he ventures.

"What do you mean?" she asks back.

"No, you can't ask in answer. I meant, what type of student were you? Party beast? Bookworm?"

"I started bookworm then I tried parties. Then I dropped." she says quickly.

"Which one you prefer?" he asks her.

"I'm not proud of my party time. You?"

"I was becoming more popular, thought I was mostly at pubs or libraries." he answers.

"Dare." she says looking into his wide eyes. He can't contain his arousal. "A good one",

"I dare you to show me how much you'll miss me." he tells her.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, her hand resting on the back of his neck approaching his lips to her as she kiss him slowly at first, but soon their passion raises and he leans on her feeling her sides.

"I want you to stay." she suddenly says confusing him "Before you have to go. Stay home with me."

"I'll do as long as you let me." he answers back kissing her bare front softly. He doesn't know why she asks him that, and doesn't care right now. She fears her snipper. Having Rick home relaxes her.

She caress his length and he looks into her eyes, a warn and a permission are silently exchanged and then he fills her slowly. They try to make it last as much as they can but the long days of containment make them explode soon. They cuddle caressing each other skin until they feel hungry. He stands first and prepares them breakfast while she gets a quick shower. She meet him in her kitchen. Her favourite breakfast ready as her coffee.

"Thank you." she happily welcome him.

"You too. I'll show you later how much I'll miss you too." he teases.

"You can do the next three days" she kiss him.

"Really?" he asks surprised "I'll be glad to" he feels there's no need to hold back any longer. Still...

"What's this?" she asks picking a box next to her dish.

"Open it." he says smiling. She gives him a look but obeys.

"Rick! Why did you do that? They are gorgeus." she says holding a pair of earrings that match the design of her mother's rign but with a colour the perfect blend of blue and green, as their eyes.

"For you. Happy two weeks" he sofly kiss her. She hugs him tight and he puts the pieces on. "I've noticied you hardly wear earrings. Still I wanted to give you something special and femenine." he says.

"That's so lovely. I love the colour. Thanks a lot honey" she caress his chest as he rest his head on hers in a hug.

"I thought I was the bunny" he teases.

"You yet have to show me" she throws back.

"I very much will do the next days. Just be warned" he smirks.

"All bark, no bite"

"You'll count how many bites which one gets" he places the dirty plates on the sink and motion her to sit on her couch. "So, what was that about yesterday?"

"I had a midly thought of worry since I came back. I told you I had a vivid nightmare. But I feel safe with you" she assures him.

"Then why you did that yesterday? I was with you and you panic"

"Sorry. It won't happen again." she says seriously.

"Kate, I don't want you to hold, to pretend. Be clear to us. If there's anything that worries you, you can tell me. I can't do magic and make it go away, but talking helps." he says softly.

"I know Rick. But there's no point I remind you every day of my troubles." she says as he nods.

"So how's your painting class? Made new friends?" he asks knowing of her note on her purse. Dennis.

"Well they are easy-going. I know them just for a class. Is not like we are going have coffee together."

"Is OK. You can have your time whenever you need it. I'm not jealous. I would be if you were the model in the class" he caress her knee.

" Can't handle I'm the muse for someone else?"

"Can handle I bring coffee to someone else?"

"Touché. So, there's anything you try to tell me? Someone said has seen me with someone else?" she asks.

"Just found about a lucky class-mate. Dennis." he says showing her the note.

"Are you really jealous? I just love you Rick. Plus Dennis is a kid."

"I thought the class was for adults."

"He is advanced. He is quiet. I'll introduce you to him one day." she kisses him "Were you really jealous?"

"Never. I found it by accident. Just it surprised me you told me few about your class. Aren't you excited for your new hobbies?"

"I'm excited about you" she kisses him again. "I think we had a pending game" she says and stands.

"As much as I like how it sounds, I need a bit more time to recover from this morning"

"Not that. Poker."

They set the game on her living room table.

"Strip?" he teases, knowing she won't agree.

"OK." she says startling him.

"OK. Let's make it more interesting. I liked my truth or dare, let's keep it." she nods and they begin.

On each time one loses, they have the chance of dropping a piece of clothing or do the truth or dare.

As they advance and since they are shirtless already he asks her.

"So, what was your number? At college." he begins.

"Dorm room 320" she answers.

"Not that number. Lovers." he says and she blushes. "C'mon everybody do that in college"

"The ones Maddie told you about."

"None that you keep secret?" he teases her.

"No. You?"

"I lost count. I dated many girls. Nothing serious, but when I met Kira. I was faithful".

"There's no reason I worry while you are on tour." she says sharply.

"Do you doubt that? I'm commited. I've been commited to you since I saved you from your apparment explosion. But for Gina. I thought you'd agree to come to the Hamptons, but you didn't and had someone interest already." he tells her.

They keep playing and again fall into questions exchange.

"Why did those songs make you freeze? What they remind you?" he asks her.

She lays her cards on the table and look into his eyes. There's no way back now. He looks confused.

"Do you really want to know?" she asks him, he nods quietly. "Ok, you truly deserve to know. I've not judged your past and never will do. I hope that is like-wise. I never told that to anyone before." he nods again, she drinks some water.

"Look, I don't want to push you to tell me. If you are not comfortable..." he begins.

"No. You deserve to know." she caress his fingers. "When I was in college I wasn't much popular at first. I never liked be the center of attention. When my mom was stabbed I felt left alone in the world. All my morals were a blur. I didn't find any sense on anything. My dad was drunken to numb the pain. I couldn't go home, I didn't had the heart to. I felt alone in my dorm so I started to go out. To any party, any pub. I kinda followed my dad path back then. I didn't trust my friends, and made easily night mates." she pauses for a moment and look at him with tears in her eyes as she unholds his hand "One day I went to a frat party. I don't remember what happened. I was blind drunk. I just remeber the music that was played. It was exactly a month since my mom was murdered. I woke up in a room with another 11 people. Seven of them guys. We all were naked. I don't remember what happened. I tried to forget and sober. I didn't went to any party after that. I tried to focus on my degree, but couldn't. I dropped college. I turned to be a cop seeking the truth and justice for crimes. Before I finally dropped I went to a rutinary medical check and found out I was pregnant. I had no clue who the father was. I couldn't deal with that. I couldn't bring that trouble home and suddenly I felt like coming back to the city and start over again. I was pondering what to do with the baby. I was too young to care a child when I could barely stand myself then." she shivers and sobs, he approaches her and cuddles her.

"I understand. You don't need to keep going." he tries to comfort her.

"Please let me finish." he nods "I thought of moving abroad, have the baby and give it to adoption. Morally I couldn't lost a newborn. Then when I was ready to move with my savings I lost the baby. The doctor told me it'll be hard for me to carry a pregnacy to term. I've been careful since then, taking the pill and being careful chosing my partners. When we saw that stray kid in the Hamptons I thought back on what I did in college. I placed myself as his awful parents." she tells him crying.

"You are going to be a wonderful mother, Kate" he assures her.

"I wish I could help Edgar. Their parents have resign his custody. Then I went for a drive. Where I stopped I met a teenager. Dennis. He plays chess. I've seen him a couple times. Rick he's my unborn child age." she confesses. Rick didn't saw that coming. He doesn't know well how to comfort her. He almost experienced the same himself, just he cared the child, and is proud of. He can barely understand how she must feel.

He feels her heat is burning her forehead and holds her in his arms bringing her to her bathroom. He runs a bath for her to cool her.

"I'm sorry you had to experience that Kate. I'm really sorry." he kisses her forehead as he wash her body.

"I don't need compassion, Rick. I did an awful thing." she weeps.

"Hey, you didn't. You were going to be responsable. It just didn't happen. Is not your fault. None of that is your fault. And you'll be a great mother. You know you already are." she looks at him confused "You've helped me raise Alexis since I know you." he kisses her cheeks tasting her tears and with his thumb he wipes them. " We can see him. Before I go." he offers.

"See who?" she asks in a sob.

"Edgar. We can visit him. You obviously feel attached to the kid." he resolves.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Richard. I'm messed up".

"No, you are not. You are just going through a rough period of changes. But I'm here, always." he holds her hand.

"Why are you that nice with me all this time?" she asks with weak smile.

"Because you made me born again the day I met you.." they cry together at his words.


End file.
